Gemma Cribb

speaker

1,656 appearances 19 recordings 1 series first heard Jan 2017 last heard Jan 2020

Gemma Cribb’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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The Hook Up · Can high-school sweethearts last? · 10 Jul 2018 podcast

And then no matter how old you are, voice-verified

And how young you got together, it will fade and you'll have this, what they call a more mature love, which is the feeling of being best buds and the feeling of knowing each other really closely and hopefully relying on each other. voice-verified

And that is still love. voice-verified

It just feels a bit different from the sparkly new lightning bolts. voice-verified

type love it doesn't mean it's any less important and whether you went out and got another partner it would still end up in that kind of love no matter who you met so the question is do you really need to feel that again because some people will say yeah actually I really want to feel that again or are you happy to forego feeling that and settle with that mature loving feeling voice-verified

Yeah, totally. voice-verified

There's no certainties and it can be risky. voice-verified

I'm sure there's just as many people that have gone, oh, I made the wrong choice and couldn't get back together with their partner, even if they wanted to, as the people like the previous caller who made the right choice and ended up with her partner again. voice-verified

Yeah. voice-verified

So it is one of those tricky situations and what I would say is if you're going to resent the relationship, if you're going to have your eyes wander all the time, then you actually owe it to your partner to take a break because you're not any longer being respectful to that person if you're going to blame the relationship for your uncomfortable feelings. voice-verified

Often it's all they've ever known and this person becomes sort of a safety net in their life, someone who's constantly there and available and their identity sometimes gets fused with that person. voice-verified

They might not know who they are outside of that relationship. voice-verified

So it can be really scary to let that person go and to start to find the new you outside of the relationship. voice-verified

Oh, that's a tricky one. voice-verified

I mean, if it's mutual, then ending it respectfully and appreciating each other and what each other has given you in the relationship, you know, have a really nice ending would be good. voice-verified

Probably some time apart where you're not in contact because it's very easy to slip back into relying on your ex-partner and then we get the sticky situation where one person messages the other person more than the other person does and then we can get some hurt feelings and some crossed signals when we have continued contact. voice-verified

So probably a period of time where we agree not to contact each other. voice-verified

And then in terms of the how long, boy, it really depends on what sort of experiences you think you need. voice-verified

My hunch would be you probably can't put a time limit on it. voice-verified

You might sort of just agree to get back in touch after a certain period of time and renegotiate if you need to. voice-verified

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