Gemma Speck

speaker

6,373 appearances 17 recordings 1 series first heard Jan 2026 last heard 13 Jun

Gemma Speck’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

Trend

recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 17 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 4.

Appearances

newest first · ▶ plays the moment

The Psychology of your 20s · 425. Why we want people who don't want us back · 4 Jun 2026 podcast

We just spoke about this, but this person might represent what it would feel like to have certainty in your life or in a partner.

And it kind of like, not have to worry about it anymore.

You've got your person, it's all sorted.

And you're just really craving something that is certain, something that is going to go right and that is secure.

Maybe what they represent is, again, a purpose, which you otherwise feel you don't have.

There's so many things that somebody else can represent.

They can represent excitement.

They can represent belonging.

They can embody the kind of person you want to be.

And so by admiring them from afar, sometimes what's happening is you unconsciously feel closer to this ideal version of you through your temporary one-sided attachment to them.

What are you seeking to fulfill?

What does this person offer that you don't think you can offer yourself right now?

There's this theory called the self-expansion model.

I don't know if it's a self-expansion model full stop or self-expansion model of love, but it was like one of the first psychological theories of love.

And it essentially says we are mainly attracted to people that grow and expand our sense of self.

and who we think would make us better people.

So it's not wrong that you want this person who you think would make you better, or who you think is great and has resources and has a great personality and is cool.

That's not wrong.

It's actually probably why you like them in the first place.

But what's to say you aren't capable of self-expansion through friendship right now, through your own self-exploration, through mentorship, or through somebody else that actually wants you?

Showing 941–960 of 6,373 · page 48 of 319