Gemma Speck
speaker
6,373 appearances
17 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2026
last heard 13 Jun
Gemma Speck’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 17 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 4.
Appearances
We get fixated on this person thinking that they're the only ones who can expand us for getting all these other options.
When you identify what you think it is that this person would fulfill, what need or absence you need them for, you can get to work kind of feeling it in other ways.
Secondly, it's so important to like create physical distance in any way that you can and just flush this person out with as many hobbies, like social engagements, opportunities as you can.
Now, some people would say this is just plain old distraction.
Maybe it's even avoidance.
I see the argument.
And I would agree with them.
Because it kind of is.
That's the whole point.
It is distraction.
It is trying to get away from the problem.
In the initial months of trying to move past this person, you need to be continuously breaking the association between them and the feeling of anticipation and dopamine.
Basically, that's what we need to do.
What you're experiencing when you get a rush or a thrill anytime you see them, hear from them, think about them, is a conditional emotional response.
So you need to focus on extinguishing that by
Well, extinguishing that response by creating more powerful ones and also by not giving into the desire to reach out or to see them or to be with them.
From a psychological perspective, this has a name, it's called extinction.
Basically, when a learned association weakens because the expected reward is no longer delivered,
like we we stop anticipating it the thing is extinction doesn't happen just like because passively like if you just sit in the absence your brain often actually increases craving in an attempt to motivate you to get the reward back um
That's why people relapse.
Showing 961–980 of 6,373 · page 49 of 319
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