Ilona Maher

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738 appearances 9 recordings 8 series first heard Jul 2024 last heard 4 Jul

Ilona Maher’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 4 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 3.

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House of Maher · Our Teen Years, Ilona’s Rugby Journey & Sex Ed Lessons From Mom · 25 Mar 2025 podcast

It's like making an apple pie, you know? You start by making the dough and you put that on the bottom, layer it up the walls, uterine lining, and then you add in the filling and you put it in the oven. And I think that's kind of where I got lost too. Because this one is just kind of, it was supposed to be about how a period happens. So then I guess it goes away by taking away slices.

But the better one, in my opinion. Oh, and then you make another pie. Yeah, then you make another pie. Each month you're making a pie. Oh. And the pie is your uterine lining. Wow. Shedding. And did you understand it? Or were you like every month like, God, womanhood is exhausting. I have to make a pie every month. To be a woman is to perform. To make pie. Do I have to be a good baker?

What feeling are we talking about, mom? Why does it have to be apple? What is this? Should it be cherry?

Something red? I don't know. But my favorite was her hotel room. Because obviously our Oma and Opa had a motel growing up. So she worked and she would help make rooms and stuff. And so she told me a period is like... I don't know why I needed two analogies. A period is like a motel room. You know, you're expecting visitors. And so you are changing the sheets. You are fluffing the pillows.

You are getting... room ready but the uh the visitor doesn't come so well um oh but the sheets are now old they need to be refreshed this is a nice motel uh oh right so you have to take away all the sheets and you have to wash them and get them out of the room which is the period happening wow My hotel is like one of those cool new, you know, hotels that are like made to look old.

They're talking about like artsy. Actually, there's like a design. What are those called? Boutique hotels. Boutique. My hotel is like a boutique hotel. Right. Your uterus is a boutique hotel. Anything else you want to add about that? Are we having visitors? No, I keep it ready for visitors for sure. Keep it ready for visitors for sure. You're changing the sheets. Yeah, I'm changing the sheets.

Wow. Yeah, fluffing the pillows. Fluffing the pillows on there. Right, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah, it's like luxury. It's a luxury one, yeah. It's a luxury experience, absolutely. Yours, a rundown seedy motel. That's, that's... A Motel 6?

She's prepping a Motel 6. I'm prepping a Motel 6. It's smoking a cigarette. What? There's water stains. Black mold on the tiles. Just to be clear, Olivia is perfect. Just to be clear. Well, somebody watches this. Hey, I saw you describing your Vagina. I'm so excited about this date, but... Could you let me know if anything's happening? Is there, like, a Google Maps link I can see?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, where this Motel 6 is. I don't know. No. It's actually...

beautiful what the hell no yours is good it's fine so funny there's good analogies though she's like i'm proud of that we get that was a period analogy yeah any like water your garden to bloom no i think she knew that that needed to be really clear oh don't mess around of like i do remember the first time again this was the same car right to swim practice

and she was busy and she was telling me she was like so you know a penis can actually fit into a vagina and i remember at that age i was like and like why would it do that i was like cool fun fact why i didn't understand what she was saying i was like Just a unique coincidence? Like, what's going on? Why are you telling me this? Did she open the conversation with that? I think maybe.

Because it was silence in the car. She was like, did you know? And I was like, I'm in my swimsuit ready to go. I'm just trying to swim some laps for you. Can we talk about this another time? You said we could go to the dining hall at the cool college afterwards. You can make your own creamy soft serve. Creamy. We're from Vermont. It's called a creamy. It's not soft serve.

We, I don't remember if we got any analogies, but we loved those American Girl books. The Care and Keeping of You. The Care and Keeping of You. They've changed them. I actually loved reading those.

I'd sit there and just read. We shared the same one. Went down through hands. It's still in my room to this day. My daughter is getting that book. Because they've changed it. I think they took out... Like, the tampon insertion. I was just thinking about that part. But I can't, like, how many girls did that book help? Like, I can only imagine. You know what I mean?

Who didn't have a mom that was, like, as helpful as ours or, you know, as informational. Like, that must be so, like, how to check your, like, breasts for cancer, for things that I, like, stuck with me to this day that I'm like, oh, yeah, I should check my breasts because the Care and Keeping of You American Girl doll book told me, the illustrated guide, taught me how to do it.

I do remember looking at the... Maybe I manifested my rack because there was... Like images in it. We gotta pull this book. We need the care and keeping of you available right here. Where it was the bra fitting, but it was also like that breasts come in all shapes and sizes. And like, it was like different girls looking in the mirror. And I've never been like, I want that one.

As if it was a toy catalog before Christmas. You didn't do it as hard as I did.

Stars, gold stars. This would be great. But we've always been open about talking about that, talking about our love lives with each other and how that all works, even with our mom. I think she's gotten to a place where she always wanted to be a place for us to share things like that without judgment so that we would come to her.

So I think even in those talks with us, she made it so that it was like, this is something you're going to do. It's okay to do. By doing that, we were more open to sharing with her, knowing she's not going to judge us. Like, that was really important for us. And even to this day, I mean, I call her up. She probably regrets that now. She probably regrets that. I call her up.

I'm like, Mom, you're never going to believe this. You're never going to believe what happened. She's probably like. I tell the story. I called Mom the day after I lost my virginity.

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