Jake Steinfeld

Like you said, I could go out into the grandstands and watch the Dodgers, and I could pay $30 and get a ticket, but you know what?

I'm going to spend $400, and I'm going to get a luxury box ticket, me and my dad.

And then there's another 18 people, and you're on the luxury box, and you're enjoying all the free food and all the stuff that comes with luxury boxes.

But there's one bathroom in the luxury box.

And you get up to go shake some of the dew off the lily because you've been hitting the kegerator pretty good.

And some guy just walks in from the bleachers.

Just walks in.

Hey, I got to use the head over here.

How many times would that guy get a shot at your luxury box shitter before you thought to yourself, hey, I paid $400 for my fucking ticket.

You paid $30 for your fucking ticket.

You go out by the beer line and wait in the fucking line and piss in the trough.

But you still wouldn't have somebody walking in.

Yes, you would have a luxury box access.

You would not have just general admission come in.

And if you did, you'd go, why am I paying for this?

Hey, rich guy, don't be uptight.

Fuck you.

So all I'm saying is, since safety is a huge issue, and since having people... Since the first class head is right up against the cockpit where they do not want people and they do not want bodies and they don't want traffic, so this is actually...

not conducive to safety, yet has been ratcheted up 20-fold since 9-11.

What the fuck is going on?