James Acaster

That's what you like about it.

Poor guy.

Yeah, poor guy.

Would you ever say, for breakfast, would you say to your partner or whoever, want to go and pour a tree on a pig?

Say that to your partner.

It sounds like you're up for some fun.

You wouldn't want to do that, so I'm a married man here.

If the cow was in prison, it'd meet a lobster.

But as quick as that, it's one bad cow.

Yeah.

But I wouldn't do that.

But also, like, the worst is obviously weddings, where people go, we thought we'd just mix up all the friendship groups.

Like, why?

How long do you think?

This wedding is one fucking day.

Yeah.

We're not, I don't need to get into any of these.

I wanted to sit with my fucking mates and slug the wedding off together.

Yeah.

and do and like all you know have a sweepstake on the speeches do fun shit yeah and now you've sat next to someone and now I've got to be on my best behaviour yeah I want to sit at the table and everyone else there is a comedian and their partner yeah and all I want to do is talk about comedy while all of our partners look increasingly annoyed yeah surely you must hate that you don't like sitting next to strangers at weddings