James Cordova

is the quality of my wife that was most delightful for me, most attractive to me when I was first getting to know her, is just how tender-hearted she is, how open-hearted she is in the world.

And the example that comes up for me is my wife is one of these people that when we're driving down the road, if I'm the first person to see roadkill, I try to distract her from that.

Like, look over there.

Because to her, when she sees an animal that has been killed or hurt on the side of the road, it is heartbreaking every time.

Her mind immediately goes to the life that that little creature could have lived, the family that that little creature has that's probably missing them.

And every time, she weeps.

And I've always found that deep compassion for others just gorgeous.

And, of course, that tenderheartedness is...

simultaneously part of what makes her so sensitive to teasing.

So the very thing that I find so beautiful about her soul is also the thing that can sometimes be challenging for me in that the rough and tumble of teasing is not gentle enough for her.

It's like learning how to play the guitar.

It's like learning how to write poetry.

It's like learning a sport.

Like nobody's good at it right away.

The first time you pick up a guitar, you sound awful.

But if you want beautiful, graceful music in your life, you have to practice.

If you want deep, sustaining intimacy in your relationship, you have to practice.