James Helm
speaker
155 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2025
last heard May 2025
James Helm’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
After leaving Dr. Fenton's office that day, James writes another journal entry. It reads, The mind is a prison of uncertainty, trillions of cells guarded for eternity. Oh, where art thou, Master Key? Destroy the mind and be free. A few days after this, on April 2nd, James texts Gargi and tells her that he can't be friends with her anymore. It's too hard for him. Gargi responds, okay.
The following day, on April 3rd, James sits through a class on schizophrenia, something he's very interested in. When quizzed on the material, he does really well. And then on that same day, he meets with Dr. Fenton again.
The propranolol seems to be working. I do feel a little less anxious, but I'm having a hard time remembering things.
I am feeling a little tired throughout the day.
Now, it's around this time when James' classmates began to notice a difference in him. They said he stopped smiling. He was no longer making those weird jokes in class. And if you were to have taken a look into James' journal at the time, you would have seen some disturbing entries. One read as follows. The obsession to kill since I was a kid, with age, has become more and more realistic.
First obsession, onset, started more than ten years ago. So, anyways, that's my mind. It's broken. I tried to fix my mind. I made it my sole conviction, but using something that's broken to fix itself proved insurmountable. Neurosciences seemed like the way to go, but it didn't pan out. In order to rehabilitate the broken mind, my soul must be eviscerated.
I could not sacrifice my soul to have a normal mind. Despite my biological shortcomings, I fought and fought. There is one more battle to fight with life. To face death. Embrace a long-standing hatred of mankind and overcome all fear. Certain death.
No.
Well, I broke up with my girlfriend and I'm doing okay, but I did have an increase in my obsessive thoughts.
I'm having an increase of obsessive thoughts about women. I have three categories of obsessive thoughts. One that has to do with women, one that has to do with men, and one that has to do with everyone.
An inconvenience, Fenton?
Good.
The thorn in my side is well worth the rose. I don't see the glass. I see beyond the glass.
The cues on the symbol were fists. It represented me punching you in the eye. Violence. Is that what you need to hear?
I know, it was dumb. I shouldn't have done that.
You'd see it in a utilitarian way.
You'd want to eliminate that. You'd have to see it that way.
Oh, it'll be to lock me up.
You do certain things like crinkle your nose, which means dislike. You have an unconscious and that makes you do things.
Too regulated. People would be suspicious of me.
Showing 81–100 of 155 · page 5 of 8
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