Jay Shetty

I know a lot of men who will say the same thing like, oh yeah, I want my wife to be independent, but then I want her front row seat when I'm winning. And I'm like, well, wait a minute, which one do you want? And so I think we're really, it's almost like we want everything. And in that we get nothing.

I know a lot of men who will say the same thing like, oh yeah, I want my wife to be independent, but then I want her front row seat when I'm winning. And I'm like, well, wait a minute, which one do you want? And so I think we're really, it's almost like we want everything. And in that we get nothing.

Yeah, there's two words that I like using more than sacrifice and compromise because I think they come with so much baggage. And the two words are adjusting and abandoning. And so there's a difference between adjusting yourself and abandoning yourself. Adjusting yourself means I'm making room for love. Abandoning means I'm disappearing to make space for it.

Yeah, there's two words that I like using more than sacrifice and compromise because I think they come with so much baggage. And the two words are adjusting and abandoning. And so there's a difference between adjusting yourself and abandoning yourself. Adjusting yourself means I'm making room for love. Abandoning means I'm disappearing to make space for it.

Adjusting is saying I'm happy to be flexible. Abandoning is saying I'm gonna bend so much that I'll probably break. Adjusting is growing. I'm actually becoming better through this choice. Abandoning is shrinking. I'm losing myself through this choice. And adjusting is I'm gonna help you move forward. Abandoning is I'm gonna leave myself behind.

Adjusting is saying I'm happy to be flexible. Abandoning is saying I'm gonna bend so much that I'll probably break. Adjusting is growing. I'm actually becoming better through this choice. Abandoning is shrinking. I'm losing myself through this choice. And adjusting is I'm gonna help you move forward. Abandoning is I'm gonna leave myself behind.

And so what I find a lot of us do is when we don't know who we are, we abandon ourselves. And the difference is adjusting is something two people do, abandoning is something one person does. Adjusting requires two people to move, to mold, to pivot. Abandoning just requires one person to give up everything.

And so what I find a lot of us do is when we don't know who we are, we abandon ourselves. And the difference is adjusting is something two people do, abandoning is something one person does. Adjusting requires two people to move, to mold, to pivot. Abandoning just requires one person to give up everything.

And so what I find, the reason why a lot of people end up in this place is because they were never told to have their own dream. They were never told they were allowed to have their own mission. They were never told that they had a purpose. And chances are they met someone, their partner, who had a very clear purpose, and they assumed that my purpose must be to help them.

And so what I find, the reason why a lot of people end up in this place is because they were never told to have their own dream. They were never told they were allowed to have their own mission. They were never told that they had a purpose. And chances are they met someone, their partner, who had a very clear purpose, and they assumed that my purpose must be to help them.

And it kind of felt good in the beginning because it gave life meaning. Right in the beginning, it was all good. It was like, I'm gonna do this for them and they're going out to crush it and they'll do really well and I'll live through them. And then maybe if I have children, I'll live through them.

And it kind of felt good in the beginning because it gave life meaning. Right in the beginning, it was all good. It was like, I'm gonna do this for them and they're going out to crush it and they'll do really well and I'll live through them. And then maybe if I have children, I'll live through them.

And so all of it becomes living life and meaning through bringing a provider and a supporter of other people. Which by the way, if it satisfies you, that's beautiful. It sounds like me and you have met a lot of people who are not satisfied by that. And I think the reason for that is your purpose can't be a person. Right, your purpose is something that isn't dependent on someone else's existence.

And so all of it becomes living life and meaning through bringing a provider and a supporter of other people. Which by the way, if it satisfies you, that's beautiful. It sounds like me and you have met a lot of people who are not satisfied by that. And I think the reason for that is your purpose can't be a person. Right, your purpose is something that isn't dependent on someone else's existence.

It's dependent on you. That's what it is. It's something that's connected to you, not connected to you and that person that you're serving. So in the beginning, it felt good. We got it, we found meaning. As time went on, you started to realize that person was living their dreams and you were just watching them.

It's dependent on you. That's what it is. It's something that's connected to you, not connected to you and that person that you're serving. So in the beginning, it felt good. We got it, we found meaning. As time went on, you started to realize that person was living their dreams and you were just watching them.

And no matter how good you felt watching that person live their dreams, you want to live your dreams too. Now you have two choices. A lot of us will blame it on that person. And when you blame it on that person, chances are you've heard these words before. They'll say, well, they didn't ask you to. I didn't tell you to. And that really hurts. Because you've just given up so much.

And no matter how good you felt watching that person live their dreams, you want to live your dreams too. Now you have two choices. A lot of us will blame it on that person. And when you blame it on that person, chances are you've heard these words before. They'll say, well, they didn't ask you to. I didn't tell you to. And that really hurts. Because you've just given up so much.

And you're like, wait a minute, you didn't ask me to, but you never told me to stop. You never told me not to. You gladly took it when I did it for you. So wait a minute, where are we now? Now that fractures the relationship. It's one of the biggest reasons people will break up, get divorced, relationship falls apart, they lose connection. So what do we do in that?

And you're like, wait a minute, you didn't ask me to, but you never told me to stop. You never told me not to. You gladly took it when I did it for you. So wait a minute, where are we now? Now that fractures the relationship. It's one of the biggest reasons people will break up, get divorced, relationship falls apart, they lose connection. So what do we do in that?