Jessica Lanyadoo

It's scary.

It's scary.

So I want to just say prioritize your feelings of safety and your feelings of as much control as you can have in such an out of control situation.

Over whatever the fucking books or whatever are telling you are the needs of the baby, because we actually over time, there's always experts with theories and we don't know.

We don't know about birth and we don't know about death.

We don't.

We have theories.

But I do know that your sense of safety, your sense of control are really important for you because of how scared you are of the physicality of it.

And so it is a kindness to yourself and therefore to the peanut to take care of yourself.

You don't have to be perfect.

You're allowed to be scared.

It's scary.

There's blood and poop.

The only way of doing it is making sure that your birth plan is for you and not for the peanut.

That's the only way that I can see it.

Like if you are influenced by, oh, there has to be music for the child.

If you don't want music, you don't listen to music because as the parent, this is your one of your first acts of parenting, right?

It's like it's creating an environment where you as the parent

can handle things so just prioritize that without any kind of other pressures you know it's like I was talking to a friend not long ago and she was like oh yeah you know my baby's like popped out of me they like popped out of me didn't hurt wasn't messy just baby congratulations yeah I know I was like what um and then I've heard like the literal opposite right and yeah and

You're right.