Joey Diaz
speaker
3,386 appearances
6 recordings
3 series
first heard Jan 2024
last heard 10 Jun
Joey Diaz’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 1 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 1.
Appearances
I don't know. But, no, they didn't do anything to Steve McQueen. Charles Bronson, same way. He was a prick on those movie sets. They wanted everything. They took everything, Joe. It just came up. We discussed it last time. They just got released as Steve McQueen writers from his movies.
Fucking insane. Yeah. His was insane. His suits had to be a certain cut. They had to cost a certain way. Well, he ain't wearing it, Steve McQueen.
Comics are like, yeah, I'm not going in there until I got my size 12s. You paid for it. What's the big deal? Yeah, they gave me some sneakers. No, you didn't. You bought those sneakers, stupid. It comes out of the price. Yeah, they think that, oh, they bought me sneakers because I'm special and shit.
Right, yeah, even though you're paying for it. Fuck that. I'll bring my own sneakers. I'll bring my own sneakers. I'm going to show up and there's a box of sneakers. Oh, you got me white sneakers. I'm not going to perform because that shit started happening. Oh, really? Yeah, people were like, I want black sneakers. Jordan, and all of a sudden they're white.
I ain't getting on stage until I get my black Jordans. Now they got to run around town. I've heard people turn limos back. Yes.
Yeah, yeah.
What is this bullshit? And who fucking drove you when you lived under that fucking bridge? Just get in the goddamn fucking car, cocksucker.
And that's what happens in that fucking town in Hollywood. And people go, okay, no, go fuck yourself. You want that, bring it yourself. And once you start doing that, listen, I understood what you said before about Austin, and it makes sense to me now. It's like the day I took my daughter to school and there was moms hugging trees in Studio City crying.
If I was a redneck, I'd show up with a shotgun that day and just shoot it and watch those moms just fly. That's where the guns keep the liberals in check. Okay? That's when you come in and go, you want to hug trees? Boom! And fucking start shooting off. Dog, they were hugging trees. Right in front of the school where my daughter and Birch went. Why were they hugging trees?
Because they were going to cut the trees down. We went to the school and the cops were there and women were hugging the trees, holding each other's hands, crying. This is why I had to get the fuck out of there. Crying. And that's where a guy with a gun would have been perfect. A big fucking gun. You guys like trees so much. Boom.
And those bitches would have been running to that fucking coffee shop crying. They didn't know what happened. Fuck those trees, Jack. That's what you need, a gun in California to tell these motherfuckers, shut the fuck up. You go on Facebook now, and I see people I used to hang with in California, and they're talking about other people. Everybody's so talented and everything's so gracious.
And to work with such a great bunch of talented individuals, thank God they've let my creative juices work. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. What are you talking about? I don't need to smack you now or smack you later. It's so much. Very pretentious. Very. And that's what I don't miss any, listen, at all. When I watch it in a movie now, I can't even stand small talk.
Like that's what I didn't even know what small talk was. You know, it was like the night you did a show. I'm talking to you about before Fear Factor. You did a show maybe at the Wooltern.
one night and we left a bunch of people there and they circled you like Ann Maney and a bunch of other people and they were talking to you about a deal or something and it was like oh my god your set was so great and you're supposed to stand there like thank you I fucking hate that shit yeah they love kissing people's ass we loved it oh my god Mimi and I loved it Mimi Victoria and I loved it we're so happy you invited us and you have to sit there and go come on knock it the fuck off
That was in the deal days.
Yeah, well, they'd come up to you and talk to you.
Newt's radio's on at 8 o'clock. It's everywhere. My kids watch it. I watch it. They think it's hilarious. I watched my favorite episode a couple weeks ago when he was playing the piano on the fucking Phil Harmon. He was playing the piano on the elevator and it kept opening.
That was a very good show. It was just... I know that you told me over the years that they kept moving you and never found a home or something like that.
We were like on the verge of being canceled. I know you're watching some good shows now. Yeah. I'm watching one show. What are you watching? There's some people who are dangerous, and then there's Helen Mirren. What are you watching? Oh, the 1923 show? Both of them. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I have not seen that yet. The Italian mafia movies, they're done. Really? Yeah, they're done. De Niro just put Alto Nights Out. They took it out of the movie theater in two fucking weeks. He put what out? He put a movie called Alto Nights Out, where he plays two roles. He plays Frank Costello and somebody else, or Vito Genovese. I don't know exactly.
Showing 161–180 of 3,386 · page 9 of 170
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