Jonathan Pokluda
speaker
178 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2025
last heard May 2025
Jonathan Pokluda’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I do, I am a, I guess like a soft complementarian to put a theological term on it. I do believe God made male and female different to play different roles. Now I'm not saying that a woman can't work outside the home, so that would be like a really hard complementarian stance. That's not where I'm at at all. I'm just like, look at me and my wife, and I look at most men and most women,
and i'm like they're different there are things that my wife is much better at than i am and those things are necessary and and they play a role in the raising of our children that is invaluable like there are so many things that she's better at than me and there are some things where i'm going to excel beyond her capabilities because of how god made me as a male and so i think that plays a role in marriage that we need to to consider
um so on the flip side from uh what women should look for in a man yeah what should the man be looking for in a godly woman in today's day and age yeah i think you're looking for um uh someone if the job is a great wife and a great mother to my kids then i would consider okay what are the qualities that would make someone a great wife and a great mother to my kids.
I think you have to think beyond the bedroom. If you have a really healthy sex life, you're having sex 0.6% of the time. That's if you're doing it a lot. 0.6% of the time. Which means you better be really great at a lot of the things you're gonna be doing 99.4% of the time. That's a lot of conversations. That's a lot of other things. And I just don't think dudes think about that.
I don't think dudes think about how her body's gonna change through pregnancy and giving birth to three children. I don't think a lot of dudes are thinking about how there's parts of her bodies that are gonna be off limits for long periods of time. And this is how porn has just really messed us up.
And so you're thinking through the character qualities of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness.
self-control Galatians 5 this is a great list to look for in a wife I wrote another book called outdated I mentioned earlier and there's actually I have a list in there of what to look for in a guy and what to look for in a girl to try to just you know spell that out but first Peter 3 is a great scripture Ephesians 5 you mentioned earlier is a great scripture Colossians 3
Proverbs 31, I know there's a lot of big eye roll moment for people. It's like, oh, Proverbs 31. But it is. It's great. King Lemuel. There's a good list of qualities that actually come from his mom there to consider.
Great question. Because dating is about 120 years old. Be ready to argue with me, listener. Prior to 120 years ago, no one in the history of the world ever went on a date. You don't have a single biblical example of a date. It was arranged marriage. Song of Solomon chapter 1 verse 4 says that their friends and family praised their love more than wine, which is to say they appreciated marriage.
uh the that god brought them together more than the party more than the open bar more than the the food that was served that they they came together and said hey this makes sense uh jesus says what god has brought together let man not separate uh there was there was this bringing together in that culture in a biblical culture there were times that you would meet your spouse at the altar like where does physical attraction fit into that narrative
Like meeting your spouse at the altar. Yeah. Right. And so I think that's you can see how far we've come in 2025 where we hold physical attraction and, you know, to the highest standard, you know, we put it in the first place. But dating, you ready for this? Dating entered the English language as a euphemism for prostitution.
a guy was talking on a radio show and he was talking about his his girlfriend and he said she started taking dates with other guys meaning she was sleeping with other men and that's where the word entered the english language dating okay as a euphemism for prostitution to go on a date
meant to exchange sexual favors for an experience now consider how we date in 2025 the world they exchange sexual experience sexual favors for an experience like show me a good time take me to a great dinner let's go on an incredible vacation and then let's get a great hotel room and and I'll show you a good time that's really how a lot of the world thinks about dating
And so I'm not trying to kiss it goodbye, but I do think we need to redeem it. And, and what dating needs to be for believers is a pathway to a promise. And so I would say, you know, you have a girlfriend. Yeah. I would say, what do you need to find out about her to determine if she would be a great wife?
think it's a very good question to consider for people who are dating is what do i need to find out about them to determine if they would be a suitable spouse what is the gap and then how do i intentionally find that out quickly and effectively because i'll be honest with you as someone who's been single as someone who's dated and someone who's been married
dating is the worst of the three singleness awesome you can go places do things you can leverage it for the kingdom first first corinthians 7 you know you're you're concerned about the affairs the kingdom paul writes that he's plagiarizing matthew 19 he says jesus says in matthew 19 there are some who are celibate for the sake of the kingdom not everyone who can accept it but those who can should
Like singleness is awesome. Marriage, amazing. You can sleep in the same bed. You can snuggle. You can have sex. You can be intimate. You can literally create life and children and raise those children to know God and sit at the breakfast table and make memories on family vacation. It's awesome. Singleness, awesome. Marriage, awesome. Dating, not so awesome.
It's like I gotta be around someone that I'm really attracted to, but I can't really touch them in a way that causes their body to begin to prepare for sex, because that wouldn't be loving, and so I'm trying to restrain this constantly, but I have these strong feelings for them, but there's all these baked in insecurities, because I don't know if they feel the same way about me all the time, and we just kind of go through these emotional highs and lows.
So I would try to get out of the dating phase as quickly and effectively as possible,
to say what do i need to know about this person to understand if they would be a suitable spouse so that we can get this show on the road or stop wasting each other's time because again this dating thing totally man-made didn't exist prior to 120 years ago totally our invention that is now a cultural phenomenon in america at least um of of how we we try to find a spouse
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