Jordan Klepper

I promised the beef's wife I'd get it home safe.

Of course, like all wars, this thing has spread across the region.

Canadian burger chain A&W has entered the fray.

Alan from A&W here with, you heard about it, here it is, the teen burger and the teen sauce.

I'm sorry, teen burgers?

Those better be eight teen burgers, Alan.

Trust me, telling people you like the taste of teen sauce is not the flex you think it is.

Let's keep this guy 500 yards away from Wendy just to be safe, okay?

And for the record, I'm not into teen burgers.

Costa prefers his burgers with a little experience, you know?

A burger that's been around the block.

That's why I'm all in on middle-aged burgers, okay?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

It might be graying on the sides.

You need to apply a prescription cream to its back every once in a while.

But this is a burger who gets all my Simpson references and still thinks it's cool I drive an 88 Camaro.

Plus, it's got the one thing I look for in a burger.

No other options.

Pick you up at 8 Burger.