Jorm
speaker
728 appearances
8 recordings
1 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard 27 May
Jorm’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 2 in all, peaking in May 2026 with 2.
Appearances
We were talking about sweetness earlier. One of my favorite sweet sketches of all time. Andy, you were in this sketch. The sketch is called Calculator. No memory. Calculator begins. There's a Christmas tree. Bill is a dad. Casey Wilson is a mom. You are their son. You're so excited. It's almost midnight at Christmas Eve and you get an open presents. You all look very modern.
And then they say, where are the twins? And you say they'll be down any second. And then Fred and Malkovich enter as twins, matching sweaters, curly black hair. And they're so excited because all they want for Christmas is a calculator. But don't they have, like, thick New York accents? They have thick.
Also, they're your younger brothers. They look three times your age. No one else in the scene has an accent.
The entirety of the sketch is them being excited about calculators and how they're going to add up a bunch of numbers.
It is such a wonderful performance. They match each other's energy. And it's a lot like, I'm going to add up so many numbers, it's going to be 50 places past the decimal point. And again, you keep thinking it's a sketch that's taking place in the 70s. And then you say, why don't you just use the calculator on your phone? And they yell, shut up, Glenn. Nobody asked you, Glenn.
And then just the sketches, they get the calculator and they're just really happy and they add up a bunch of numbers and then the two of them in unison go, whoa! They're just so happy. But anyway, I reached out to Fred because it is one of, it's a very like uniquely Fred sketch where there's sort of no conflict and it's just lovely and it's a small observation.
So I asked Fred where he got the idea of calculator and he sent in this voice note.
Do you remember nine-year-old advice from the update desk, Andy? No. That was you as David Rasmussen. This was the story in the news that made you and Tucker write a sketch. A nine-year-old boy named Alec Graven has just authored a book called How to Talk to Girls. Here to comment is another kid author who's just written a competing book called A Kid's Guide to Talking to Girls.
Here's nine-year-old David Rasmussen. Still don't remember it. David kind of comes out and is very cute, and Amy is very taken with his precociousness. And then his early advice, you know, oh, yeah, it's super easy for me to talk to girls. You just have to have confidence, a smile, and be willing to share your snack once in a while.
And Amy's like, well, that's really good advice for a guy of any age. And it's really nice advice. And then it takes a turn.
And then Amy's less psyched to be talking to a nine-year-old.
And another thing, Amy, girls love, again, nine years old. And another thing, Amy, girls love cocaine.
Especially white girls. It makes them crazy. But be careful because it can get exhausting. Ladies, you're going to wear me out. I'm nine years old. The only balls I've dropped are in the outfield.
Oh, there's a very nice move at the end, too, because she says she's very upset and she's going to tell your parents and you start to cry. And then she has sympathy and says, I won't tell your parents. And then you immediately stop crying and say, and don't be afraid to cry. Girls love it. So you play in polar, too. Play in her. Could never happen in real life. Too savvy.
Oh, right. Everybody, Jorm's going to dinner. And the next podcast, he's going to let us know how the vest played. How many people are going to be at the dinner, Jorm?
Well, you do us and the listeners of the pod a solid. Yeah. At some point, if it's appropriate, do a quick straw poll from the people at the dinner and get their take on where they stand on the vest. Yeah, absolutely. I'll get Scott to weigh in.
I have not seen it recently, but when I watched it, it brings me pleasure to watch us in that era.
They sort of made a choice of which sketch to follow based on the table, which was this Empire Carpet sketch where John Malkovich played a guy who was in a recording booth auditioning to play the 5-8-8, that voiceover. And it played really hard at the table and then it died at dress.
But it was very interesting that a documentary crew went to table and thought they had picked the one that was a lock to make it all the way to air and got it wrong.
Yeah, I mean, Fred was the Empire carpet guy, and Will was sort of a sound engineer, and every time Malkovich would finish, Fred would give a little negative head shake, and then Forte would scream, Again!
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