Josh Johnson

Wait, what if, what if when we heard all of Trump's promises, we thought he was talking to us, but maybe he was just talking to himself?

Because if you look at it that way, he might be keeping his promises.

Like, look at health care.

He's been promising to improve health care for like a decade now.

And things are so bad, the only health care most people can afford is watching The Pit and hoping Noah Wiley tells a patient how to treat eczema.

But Donald Trump has more health care than he knows what to do with.

I have no idea.

You have no idea?

Are you getting so many MRIs they just blend together?

Like, do you just get in tubes that people tell you to?

I'm starting to think that if you got close enough to Trump, you could probably just give him a colonoscopy.

This guy's presidency is going great for himself.

Just look at free speech.

Yes, Trump promised a golden era of free speech.

Not for you.

They'll put you in jail just for posting memes.

But Donald Trump, his speech, whew, it's so free, it seems like it's lost in the woods.

She's a documentaryist.

Whoa.

Listening to Trump makes me feel like I'm having a medical event, which is especially bad because he didn't fix health care.