Julie King
speaker
896 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2018
last heard Jun 2021
Julie King’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
You would like to have one like your friend has.
You like the zigzag on the bottom.
Or you want a stick like your sister's.
That helps them know that we get it.
We don't have to give it to them.
You know, we can say to that child who wants the shoes, here's the problem.
You know, here's our budget for shoes.
And those shoes cost, you know, 10 times the budget for an older child.
Do you want to see, put them in charge?
Do you want to see if you can find something on the internet that appeals to you, that fits with our budget?
But you can't start there.
I think what happens a lot when parents are learning about this new approach to solving problems and trying to meet everybody's needs is we are so keen on trying to find a solution to whatever conflict we're dealing with.
We want the conflict to go away, which is very understandable, right?
But if we skip that first step of acknowledging what the child wants, how the child feels about it,
then the child is not really interested in solving it because they feel like you don't get it.
Like, I don't want to look for some cheaper sneakers.
I want the ones that are like my friends.
If we acknowledge first, oh, yeah, those do look cool.
And yeah, I see how much you want them.
I wish I wish that, you know, they were on sale now and then we could go and buy a couple of dozen, you know.
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