Julie King
speaker
896 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2018
last heard Jun 2021
Julie King’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
When we start by acknowledging what they want, then they become more open to hearing how we see it and what the problem is and what we can do to try to meet everybody's needs as best as we can.
Because what you want to do is to argue with them and say, no, this, you know, these are these are really cool.
I want these.
No, I don't want those other ones.
Right.
If you if they don't acknowledge what you want first, then anything they propose, you'll think, well, that's just not good enough.
It's not they don't
Yeah.
Oh, yes.
So...
You know, this acknowledging feelings thing, it's tricky, right?
When, you know, sometimes parents will say, well, I understand how you feel when a kid's really upset about something.
They're like, and then he said this, and then he said that.
And the mom says, oh, I understand how you feel.
And the kid just escalates because they feel like, no, you don't.
What you just said, first of all, you're talking about your understanding rather than how I actually feel.
And your tone isn't matching what I'm saying.
But the chapter that you're referring to, we're honing in on one of the other issues that sometimes comes up, which is that parents use that word you.
I mentioned before that it can be tricky.
We actually have a little chart in our book to do a little translation for parents who have a hard time dropping the word you.
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