Julie Wright
speaker
141 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2019
last heard Mar 2019
Julie Wright’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
We wanted to give them an approach that was easy to remember and easy to practice.
And we we didn't find anything out there that was this simple to remember and applicable to so many different situations.
So that was one of our main goals was to make it really instantly usable.
Yeah, and we we talk a lot about this in the book and I would think it would be very relevant to your audience, is this idea of ALP going in multiple directions, including toward yourself.
So in a difficult moment, if you feel yourself, you know, the heat rising and the smoke, you know, about to come out your ears, you know, just give yourself some time to to be empathic toward yourself so that you can have the time to make a chosen response rather than what we call in the book a knee-jerk automatic response in a in a really difficult moment like that.
Well, we have an interesting question we like to ask moms and dads, which is when you're having a difficult feeling or emotion or difficult time, what do you most want from the person who's close to you?
And the answers we almost always get, or you know, the the theme of the answers that we always get are things like I wanna be heard, I wanna be listened to.
I want to be taken seriously.
I want to be.
validated, you know, I want the person to um
really listen to me.
And then we say, well, and what do you sometimes get that you don't like?
And then we get answers like, you know, having my feelings dismissed or discounted or judged or
overly patronize, like, well, you shouldn't worry about that.
Um, and so then the obvious next step is to say, we all need this, we all need that empathy in that moment.
And in that moment when we feel like the person is really listening to us.
The urgency of our emotion immediately deflates because we're not still feeling alone with our feeling.
Our our feeling has landed on another human being and they've taken it in.
And that's what we humans need more than anything in our difficult moments.
Um Dan Siegel has a phrase that he he says, name it to tame it.
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