Kate McNulty

speaker

226 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Jun 2021 last heard Jun 2021

Kate McNulty’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children · TPP 256: Autistic Therapist Kate McNulty on Neurodiverse Relationships · 22 Jun 2021 podcast

So you're saying the neurodivergent person might minimize difficulties that their child is having that are visible to the neurotypical person?

Yeah.

So I do think that that's a very common scenario.

And I think that, you know, just getting the best objective information you can about your child's

difficulties or behaviors.

And just trying to be objective and showing that we have information from research is often a really appealing stance for the neurodivergent person who might be convinced by something that's beyond just the other parent's subjective observations.

And really having that compassion too for your partner and being able to tell them, look,

I see our child struggling.

And if you struggled that way too, that's wrong.

That's unfortunate.

I'm sorry that you went through that.

You know, being able to offer them the, in retrospect, it's kind of a wish fulfillment to say, oh my goodness, I can imagine how hard that must have been for you as a child.

I wish someone had taken care of this for you better.

One thing that I...

teach people in therapy, you know, that I modeled for them and I want to encourage them to do in therapy is to listen for the part that you can agree with about what your partner's saying, or listen for the part that you can validate.

Like even if you're in opposition or it's hard to make a plan, having the attitude that I'm going to look for where the overlap is and focus on that and see if that helps us get further down the path.

I think that's one technique that couples can try to use because naturally couples,

you know, if we get in opposition or we're having a conflict with our partner, the way our brains are made is we want to argue.

We want to keep making our own point.

We want to say it again, or we want to say it louder, but that's not going to help.

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