Katy Faust
speaker
161 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2025
last heard Mar 2025
Katy Faust’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
But thank God, due to modern warfare and modern technology, we are not seeing father and mother loss to tragedy on a mass scale like that. What we are now seeing is mother and father loss intentionally and now due to reproductive technologies commercially. But we're not looking at it as tragic anymore. Now we're looking at it as a step of progress.
So my husband and I had been working with kids in a variety of different ways for a couple of decades at that point. And I will tell you. had not met a kid who lost their mother or father or who, at minimum, was not curious about the identity of that missing man and woman. But very, very often, it was the primal wound.
It was the thing that you could barely touch, that you couldn't even get near without them flinching, without them crying. You know, when we were doing the lock-ins for the kids in middle school and high school, and there's that one kid that wants to stay up at 3 a.m. and talk with you in the middle of the gym floor when all the other kids are sleeping, you know what they wanna talk with you about?
Where is my father? Why doesn't he love me? Where did he go? Where is my mother? Why did she leave me? Why did she divorce my father? Why did she move across the state? It must have been me. There must have been something wrong with me.
And so this idea that you can just casually cut out a child's mother or father, and it's going to not affect them at all, and that you were going to push some ever-widening progressive goalposts on the backs of fundamental harm to children, that was sort of the tipping point on the other side of the 85% for me, where I said, get behind me, Satan. Now we roll.
That was 2012. 2012, when I actually decided to start an anonymous blog because I am a peacekeeper and I'm a chicken and I know what these people will do to you. You know, they will make you pay. So I wasn't out there with my name up front. I just thought,
I just want to talk to the world about why marriage is actually about justice for children and the pain that they experience when you cut their mother or father out of their life and the harms that go along with that. Harms to their physical body, harm to their emotion, their academics, their future relationships.
Do you mind if I jump in there? Yeah, go ahead. Because you said parents with two kids do better, but I want to challenge that and say it's not two parents.
Well, then... Well, if this isn't what you were going to get to, then please get to what you're going to get to. But I will say that there has been some increased courage and boldness from the right and the left to say children need two parents. Like, the data is now so strong that we're not able to reject that anymore. The myth of the single mother, you know, doing just as well. That is...
Absolutely unsubstantiated. But I will say that it is not just two parents. It's not a two-parent home that advantages children. It is two married biological parents who advantage children. And that's a really important point. Unfortunately, I think because... Go ahead.
No, I remember the conversation you guys had where he said, I kind of feel like I'm at the end of what the maturation that I can achieve without having children, in essence, is how that conversation went. And that is true. Children do mature you in ways that other relationships and other demands do not. But children are not a function of your maturation. You should be a function of theirs.
So I understand. First of all, let me say Dave Rubin, incredibly talented, absolute champion of Western values, probably one of the most talented interviewers that I know of right now. And what he did to those children is 100 percent unjust. Unfortunately, he forced the smallest, the weakest, the most vulnerable to sacrifice for two grown men.
And even though they can try to make up for it with freezers full of breast milk, nighttime nannies and the mothers in their life, they have denied their children, not just one mother. Not just two mothers, but I would argue all three mothers, all three roles that a mother provides. Number one is the genetic mother who provides 50% of the child's biological identity.
And that is a critical piece of identity consolidation and formation. It is very hard for kids to answer the question, who am I? If they cannot answer the question, whose am I? And unfortunately, Dave and David have severed their children from 50% of the answer to that question. So there's number one mother that they've cut them off of. Number two, the birth mother.
This is not only the most critical, but the only relationship that children have for the first nine and a half months of their life. And the day that the child is born is the day when they're supposed to see the mother they already love for the first time, not the last. Why is it that we put children, newborns, on the chest of their mothers? It is not so they can form a bond.
It is because children have an existing bond with that woman. It is her body, her smell, her voice that soothes the baby. She is the only thing that that child knows. We have measured, and it is her presence that decreases baby's cortisol levels, especially in the first couple days and weeks.
Her presence specifically. Random people, even the child's father, do not decrease cortisol levels and increase oxytocin levels in children the way that the child's own birth mother does. So that's mother number two. And then mother number three is the social mother, the woman that is providing the daily maternal love that satisfies children's souls and maximizes their development.
So what surrogacy does is it splices what should be one person, mother, into three purchasable and optional women, the genetic mother who provides the egg, the birth mother that gestates the child, and the social mother that provides all of that female distinct nurturing that will, in essence, lead the child to that place of balance, thriving, and independence later on in life.
And unfortunately, Dave and his husband David have starved their children of all three of those, not because of tragedy, intentionally and commercially.
And we might as well... I would rather have you ask me the hard questions because everybody in the audience is thinking that too. Do you know how?
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