Kelsey McKinney
speaker
607 appearances
6 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard Feb 2025
Kelsey McKinney’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
It does seem like a fair trade to me to be like, you're going to smuggle this hot plate on. And in exchange, I've already done labor for you. The only thing I can think about is that since Josie is like keeper of secrets, this is now a secret that Tim has, which is ammo.
Tim, please.
No, no, no, no, no. The right answer here is to be like, thank you so much. And then you close the door.
That's the question I have for you. Do you give away your hot plate for free? No. This is a bartering economy. You've got to be bartering. Like, you don't need money for it, but, like, what does Mira have that you could have?
Everything I'm learning about working on a cruise is making me less happy about it. Like, you don't get to drink. They can drug test you at any moment. Like, it sounds like the whole cruise ship is actually sea jail.
No.
Right now, to be honest, I'm feeling pretty good. Two people have hot plates, which is way more than we thought we're going to have hot plates. I seem to have a very solid ally in Tim, the AV guy. I'm okay for now, but I'm still worried about us being on a boat. That is concerning to me. I'm not a very good swimmer. I'm worried.
Oh, that's bad pacing.
I mean, this is like, oh, I like this girl's making me crazy. Like, I don't know her. But I something I truly cannot tolerate is people who act like they're hot shit when they're still in a really small pond. Yeah, you're the hottest girl on the cruise ship. But we are in international waters.
This is a hard one because... One, I've been led to believe that relationships on this beautiful ship are short-lived and filled with animosity. So I would be more happy to trade Tim himself, the hot plate, for Xanax than I am to give it to a bartender, right? Like, I'm like, what I don't want is for my hot plate to just be gone.
In theory, I would like to be able to get my hot plate back in the future with another illicit trade. I don't love it. But Mira sounds really fucking annoying.
This is not going to go well.
Oh, this is such a bad idea. This is so bad. Like that hot plate is not coming back, girl. Like you traded it for something. The edibles are gone. So you need to trade her something else to get the hot plate back.
No, I can barely remember if it was like a trade or if it was a gift. My instinct is that with someone like Mira, it doesn't matter. Like your memory isn't a video recorder. You can't like be like run the fucking tapes back. Like this isn't reality television. So like you have to kind of go off what each person remembers, which means you're going to have a different version of events.
Yeah, no, it is. That kind of, like, stubborn, you know, two bulls running at each other problem. And, like... I don't know. I saw this coming. I saw it coming. You can't be reasonable if both of you are stubborn. You're in trouble.
It's like the entire process of having a sister is being like, well, actually, I stole these jeans because of, you know, something you said to me eight years ago that has haunted me in my sleep. And I hope it makes you cry, right? Like, that's...
Oh, absolutely not. It's none of my business. You brought me in here. You're going to give me a drunk, rowdy crowd. You made it my business. You could have just served doubles and not told me.
No, no, no. I just remembered that you said the word Titanic twice at the top of this episode and now I'm filled with terror. Yeah.
Literally the only thing I can think of that's positive here is that probably you die pretty fast because, like, the water is deep and cold. That's, no, absolutely not. I also am, like, you have a bunch of, like, people with a lot of money on this ship.
So, like, they are not going to behave well in an emergency. No.
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