Kristin Neff

speaker

376 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Oct 2020 last heard Oct 2020

Kristin Neff’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children · TPP 231: Author & Self-Compassion Researcher Dr. Kristin Neff on the Power of Being Kind to Yourself · 19 Oct 2020 podcast

So then, you know, he I'll catch him doing that and then we can have a talk about it.

We can talk about standing up to his inner bully.

And then I'll also at other times really talk about the importance of being kind and supportive to yourself.

Um, what we know about self-compassion, what the research shows, is that it's it's contagious.

So if you talk in a self compassionate way, other people start being more self compassionate.

Like they get the message, oh, okay, well maybe that's a good way to talk to myself.

So if you're a parent and you make any sort of mistake, whether it's a mistake with your child, you know, apologizing, taking responsibility, but showing compassion.

So instead of beating yourself up in front of your kid, like, you know, I'm so sorry, God, I'm such a bad mom or I'm so stupid, thinking that your child's gonna like that's gonna help your child, that's actually you're modeling poor behavior for your child.

You can admit a mistake.

And talk about, well, you know, it's human.

Here's what was going on for me, you know, and I I understand why it happened, although at the same time I'm committed to trying not to have it happen again.

Right.

Or if you break a glass instead of like saying, Oh, I'm such an idiot, you can say, Well, you know, again, this happens.

Remember that the three messages you're always trying to give it is mindfulness, acknowledging that it's painful.

Not ignoring it or exaggerating it.

Um common humanity, it happens as part of being human.

And kindness, showing yourself, if you out loud, if you say words that are kind of understanding and kind and supportive, then you will give that message to your kids.

So that's one way.

And if you want to talk to them directly about it, um, a really good uh metaphor to use is is friendship.

Because by about the age of seven, you know, the kids start understanding what it means to be a friend or they start learning about what it means to be a friend.

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