TPP 231: Author & Self-Compassion Researcher Dr. Kristin Neff on the Power of Being Kind to Yourself
episode
Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
36 min
2 speakers
6 chapters
transcribed 13 hours ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
What is self‑compassion and why is it essential for parents of differently wired children?
We have to remember that it's not abnormal to suffer. That's the thing that gets us. You know, when we think that somehow we aren't supposed to suffer. But that is actually what being human is largely about. Um, but people do suffer different amounts and in different ways, and we need so we need to hold the pain of that. At the same time we really need to remember we aren't alone.
Welcome to Tilt Parenting, a podcast featuring interviews and conversations aimed at inspiring, informing, and supporting parents raising differently wired kids. I'm your host, Debbie Rieber. I am so excited to bring you a conversation that every parent needs to hear, and especially parents of differently wired kids, and especially at this moment in time. The topic is self-compassion, and my guest is Dr. Kristen Neff, a pioneer in the field of self-compassion research and the author of many academic papers, as well as the books Self-Compassion: The Proven Passion. Power of Being Kind to Yourself and the Mindful Self Compassion Workbook. doctor Neff also co developed a training program called Mindful Self Compassion and is an associate professor of educational psychology at the University of Texas at Austin.
In our conversation, Dr. Neff shares what she has learned about self-compassion both through her research and her own experiences parenting an autistic child. She goes deep into what self-compassion really looks like, why we are often more compassionate to others than ourselves, and shares some strategies for strengthening that self-compassion muscle both for ourselves and for our kids. This is a powerful conversation and I promise you will finish this episode feeling uplifted, empowered to be more gentle with yourself, and perhaps most importantly, reminded that you are not alone. There is nothing we need to hear more right now. I'm so grateful to Dr. Neff for sharing her wisdom and research. And briefly before I get to that, there are a lot of great free summits happening this month.
I'm calling it Summit Palooza, including the Parenting ADHD and Autism Summit and the Raising Toddlers Conference. It's a lot to keep track of, I know. So every Thursday I send out a short newsletter where I include up-to-date listings of free summits and conferences that you won't want to miss. I also always include a short personal message and highlights of articles that should be on your radar. So if you aren't already getting my newsletter, you can sign up anywhere on tiltparenting.com. Thanks so much and now here is my conversation with Dr. Kristen Neft. Hello Kristen, welcome to the podcast. Hello Debbie, happy to be here. As I was saying before I hit record, this is a conversation I've actually been wanting to have for
Several years. I know you had spoken at the Shift Your Thinking conference a few years ago. I'm friends with those guys and have learned about your work many years ago in self-compassion. And I think now more than ever for what we're all experiencing, you know, in the world and and what so many families are experiencing with remote learning and this new landscape that this conversation is so timely. So thank you. You're welcome. So I would love if you wouldn't mind taking a few minutes and just tell us a little bit about your story of how you got into the work of self-compassion. I know you don't have to give us the whole story. You've shared it in many different ways and and videos and things that I'll I'll share for listeners, but if you want to just briefly tell us how that became your focus.
Yeah, well it was really a personal journey. You know, I I was under a lot of stress. Um it was more than twenty years ago, um and I had learned mindfulness meditation, hoping to deal with my stress and the woman leading the course. I talked about the importance of self compassion, you know, about being actively warm and supportive and kind to yourself. Um, and so I started trying it and I was just blown away by the difference it made. Um and then I did some research on self esteem in my postdoctoral work.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What is self‑compassion and why is it essential for parents of differently wired children?
0:00–4:31
2
How did Dr. Kristin Neff discover self‑compassion and turn it into a lifelong research focus?
4:31–10:08
3
What are the three core components of self‑compassion (mindfulness, common humanity, kindness)?
10:08–16:08
4
Why do many people find self‑esteem unreliable and how does self‑compassion offer a steadier alternative?
16:08–22:54
5
How can parents use self‑compassion to break the cycle of self‑criticism and model healthier coping for their kids?
22:54–29:53
6
What cultural factors influence levels of self‑compassion and what did the research reveal across different countries?
29:53–36:51
Speakers
2 identifiedMore from Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children
TPP 266a: A Conversation with Poet and Advocate LeDerick Horne
TPP 522: A Whole Child Approach to ADHD with Phil Boucher, M.D.
TPP 091a: A Conversation With Steve Silberman About His Book “Neurotribes”
TPP 521: A Conversation with Dr. Peter Gray About Restoring Childhood
TPP 253a: Advocate and Author Jonathan Mooney on Why Normal Sucks
TPP 520: Dr. Özgür Bolat on Why Rewards Backfire and the Real Science of Motivating Kids