Lewis Black

Natürlich, mit all dem Chaos, könnt ihr auf dem Flugzeug verärgert sein. Aber es gibt viele unvergessliche Wege, um eure Angst zu lösen.

Natürlich, mit all dem Chaos, könnt ihr auf dem Flugzeug verärgert sein. Aber es gibt viele unvergessliche Wege, um eure Angst zu lösen.

Oh Gott, that is beyond dumb. I'm sure your seatmate would love to spend seven hours listening to you snap a rubber band and mumble, I'm okay, snap. Everything is fine, snap. No one else can smell my nervous diarrhea, snap, snap, snap. Personally, when I'm flying, I like to ease my anxiety by screaming, there's a bird in the engine, we're all gonna die. But hey, you do you.

Oh Gott, that is beyond dumb. I'm sure your seatmate would love to spend seven hours listening to you snap a rubber band and mumble, I'm okay, snap. Everything is fine, snap. No one else can smell my nervous diarrhea, snap, snap, snap. Personally, when I'm flying, I like to ease my anxiety by screaming, there's a bird in the engine, we're all gonna die. But hey, you do you.

Of course, if you're riddled with anxiety, why not distract yourself by watching my latest TikTok?

Of course, if you're riddled with anxiety, why not distract yourself by watching my latest TikTok?

The Oscars are just around the corner. That magical night when America's finest actors seethed with rage while British people pretending to be Americans steal their awards. And if you're not excited about the Academy Awards, welcome to the club. They suck. For years, the Oscars broadcast has drawn fewer people than the strip aerobics class I teach.

The Oscars are just around the corner. That magical night when America's finest actors seethed with rage while British people pretending to be Americans steal their awards. And if you're not excited about the Academy Awards, welcome to the club. They suck. For years, the Oscars broadcast has drawn fewer people than the strip aerobics class I teach.

It's exercise, and it helps me unlock my sensuality. So this year, the producers are trying to get us watching again in ways that range from the idiotic to the insane.

It's exercise, and it helps me unlock my sensuality. So this year, the producers are trying to get us watching again in ways that range from the idiotic to the insane.

You can't cut out the men and women who work behind the scenes. Without them on stage, the Oscars are just awards for Hollywood's greatest sex criminals. How sad is it that the Academy has decided that the reason people don't want to watch its award show is that there are too many awards? Recognizing excellence through awards is the whole point. Without that, the Oscars are totally meaningless.

You can't cut out the men and women who work behind the scenes. Without them on stage, the Oscars are just awards for Hollywood's greatest sex criminals. How sad is it that the Academy has decided that the reason people don't want to watch its award show is that there are too many awards? Recognizing excellence through awards is the whole point. Without that, the Oscars are totally meaningless.

Also, with that, the Oscars are totally meaningless. It's especially unfair not to broadcast the makeup and hairstyle Oscars. Those people are the backbone of our industry. I have a whole team of people working hours to make me this beautiful. Now, if people simply don't care about the little awards, then sure, cutting them will make the show more appealing.

Also, with that, the Oscars are totally meaningless. It's especially unfair not to broadcast the makeup and hairstyle Oscars. Those people are the backbone of our industry. I have a whole team of people working hours to make me this beautiful. Now, if people simply don't care about the little awards, then sure, cutting them will make the show more appealing.

The problem is, nobody cares about the big awards either, because they keep nominating movies nobody has seen. I did see The Power of the Dog, but only because they tricked me into thinking it was a superhero movie. If the dog doesn't fly, that's not a power. So now the Academy has a real problem.

The problem is, nobody cares about the big awards either, because they keep nominating movies nobody has seen. I did see The Power of the Dog, but only because they tricked me into thinking it was a superhero movie. If the dog doesn't fly, that's not a power. So now the Academy has a real problem.

Sure, they could just nominate movies ordinary people like, but that wouldn't be a good idea either, because ordinary people are morons who only like dumb movies that don't deserve nominations. So instead, They come up with the perfect way to pander to fans, while also insulting our intelligence.

Sure, they could just nominate movies ordinary people like, but that wouldn't be a good idea either, because ordinary people are morons who only like dumb movies that don't deserve nominations. So instead, They come up with the perfect way to pander to fans, while also insulting our intelligence.

What a great idea! Let's let Russian bots choose the Oscars. They did such a terrific job with our elections. There's already a vote for fan favorite. It's called buying a ticket, asshole. If the Oscars are so desperate for viewers, there are better ways to get eyeballs than cutting categories or polling Twitter. How about a halftime show? It works for the Super Bowl.

What a great idea! Let's let Russian bots choose the Oscars. They did such a terrific job with our elections. There's already a vote for fan favorite. It's called buying a ticket, asshole. If the Oscars are so desperate for viewers, there are better ways to get eyeballs than cutting categories or polling Twitter. How about a halftime show? It works for the Super Bowl.