Lindsey Carnick
speaker
315 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Feb 2025
last heard Feb 2025
Lindsey Carnick’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Yes.
I mean, maybe for some people, hard to say.
Once we find out that we can disagree and stay connected,
that we can hold hands.
I mean, this is alien concept to people because our instinct is like, oh, things just got a little tense.
I'm going to drop your hand.
I'm going to move away.
I'm going to distance.
My body posture all of a sudden is going to say, oh, I'm disconnecting from you.
You're about to disconnect from me.
No, I'm going to do it first.
So to stay in that physical frame and have a disagreement is so powerful, so, so powerful.
And because the physical connection sort of de-escalates
the inclination to emotionally disconnect, you find yourself having a completely different conversation in which defensiveness, stonewalling, criticism, contempt, all the, as the Gobbins called them, the four horsemen of the relational apocalypse, just don't come up because you're not afraid of becoming disconnected.
So you don't have to use those weapons because there's no risk.
You can disagree all day long.
You can have a vehement disagreement about whether olives are gross or not.
Nobody's going anywhere.
And you feel confident that no matter how deep the disagreement gets, nobody's going anywhere.
And once people feel confident that the connection is going to stay in place,
Showing 241–260 of 315 · page 13 of 16
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