Lindsey Metselaar
speaker
90 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard Nov 2024
Lindsey Metselaar’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I am honored to be here. Thank you for having me.
Let's pack it up then.
The name came because I was very single at the time of starting my podcast and I was frequenting Acme, which is a club in the city. And I had met some people there and I knew some people that met there and it just kind of rolled off the tongue and sounded really, really nice. And the second part of the question was, remind me again.
Yeah.
I do talk to millennials. The core message is really I'm trying to be like a big sister character to a lot of people in the dating world. Yeah. The message is like, you are amazing. You know your self-worth. And date like you are the shit, basically. Date like it's about you choosing them, not them choosing you. And here are some ways to make dating not as stressful.
And that's when the rules come in.
The shit trope. The shit's coming back. Bring back the shits.
Yeah. Well, what's funny is that I always thought that I was an expert, right? Like I was that overconfident dater from the beginning where I thought that I was doing everything right all the time until I was really badly dumped. And it was kind of like a wake up call where I was like, Oh my God, you know, I'm not doing the right things or I'm not as good as I think I am.
And the reason I thought I was good was because I was always great at helping friends text and like the banter stuff. That was like something I was confident about that. I knew what I was doing, but when it came to, and like, I could get, I can get people to date me. Right. But then when it came to like long lasting relationships, it was a little bit harder. Um,
And so I had a friend come over and we were just kind of talking about our dating life. And this was like five years ago. And I was like, why don't we just record this conversation? There is no podcast out there that's about dating right now. It's like news and crime. And I feel like other people can relate to this conversation.
chaos that is dating, especially in New York City, but as a millennial. And so we just recorded it and we released it. And the rest is history.
Millennials have so many different mediums when it comes to dating. It is all of these different ways to communicate. So Snapchat, Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest, Venmo, like anything is a dating app to millennials. And so it gets really complicated. Like we're overstimulated. We just have too many different modes of communication that often we're not communicating at all as millennials.
And with the dating apps, which everyone has, I guess every generation has, but... we get really desensitized to just like swiping and swiping and swiping. And so I think it's just between communication struggles and having too many options. As a millennial dater, it can be really hard to sift through the noise and actually stick with something.
That could be. It also could be because women are so complicated and so confusing. And I like will talk to women about their dating lives and they'll be like, I just don't understand. Like this person will talk to me forever and not ask me out. But then when somebody asked them out, like right away, they were like, Oh my God, he asked me out right away.
And so I think it's just finding like a happy medium between the two. I'd imagine in that situation, the woman was just like, Oh my God, it was like too much too soon, you know?
You know, I never was that good at... this answer because I got decently lucky I mean I had I had one date that was just like really mean um he told me that I sounded like a farmer which like I guess he meant as an insult like and I didn't really know how to respond to that and that was just a weird experience and then I had um
So I had like the mean guys and then I've had the guys who were just like, it's pulling teeth to have a conversation with. And it's so funny. It's always those guys that it's pulling teeth to have a conversation with that ask you on a second date. And you're like, were we on the same date? Like were we, and I wonder, I bet you it's the same for reverse.
Meaning like if a guy feels like he's pulling teeth on a date, maybe the girl thinks that it went well. You know what I mean?
It's possible, but I don't think negging works in any negging came from a place of I feel like it was created from a place of insecurity, just like this person is doing so well. They think they're so cool. So let's like knock them down a peg and see if it works. Negging only worked once for me in college. But again, I was in college, so that's probably why.
No, it worked on me. Someone did it to me.
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