Lisa Hickey
speaker
73 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Mar 2025
last heard Mar 2025
Lisa Hickey’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Oh, it's an honor to be here. I'm very excited for this
Thank you. Yeah, I love talking about the origin story of the Good Men Project. So we really started... It was when I had met a venture capitalist by the name of Tom Matlack, and he was putting together a book of men's stories. And at the time, I was doing social media, I had done marketing, advertising, and so he wanted some help promoting the book, getting him on Facebook.
And so he was telling me about the book, and he said, It was all stories of men and a defining moment in their lives. And he said what was so interesting was that when he asked men about a defining moment in their lives, they all said some variation of the same thing, which was, I thought I knew what it meant to be a man. I thought I knew what it meant to be good.
And I realized I didn't know either of them.
And I was so blown away by that insight. My first thought was, oh, men have problems too, which of course I should have known. But sometimes we get so inside our heads that nobody else is going through these struggles, and especially men who don't tend to talk about them because of society's pressures to not do that. you know, I helped Tom Matlack launch the book.
We did the regular book tour, but then at the end of it, we were like, how could we make this even bigger? How can we really spark a conversation about how men's roles are changing today? Like how it just seems like change is happening so fast that we can't keep up with it.
And how can we get inside the angst that men are going through, whether it's for dating or other relationships or parenting or just the pressures of the world today? So that was when we came up with this idea to start this online platform to get men to contribute their stories, to really get
deep into the weeds about what is going on with their life today and how we could create tools and stories of other men and connect people and really build a vibrant community that could help change men's lives for the better.
Did say the word angst. There's a lot of that going around.
Yeah, well, I'm sad to say we have not solved the angst problem. We have not gotten it to go away completely. In part, just because, you know, things are getting tougher out there. There's the whole rise of technology, which I think has, um, made it harder for men to get those authentic connections, which they seek. Um, there's the pressure of society to like, you know, don't say the wrong thing.
You'll get in trouble. So there's, there's a lot of pressure on men. And I, I think I would, um, I would try to, I would ask men to think to themselves, are the stakes really that high? Like, is this one interaction really gonna be as important as I think it is? Or can I use this as just practicing making better relationships? Can I use every interaction
as a way to have fun with people, to connect with people, to really understand how to develop relationships. Helping them be present in the moment, helping them be confident, helping them understand what's great about themselves, what they're bringing to the table.
Also, being able to connect with the other person, like really think about the other person and get outside of their head a little bit.
Well, that thing you just said about, you know, am I worthwhile as a man? That is what we hear over and over, like society put such pressure on men to be this perfect idealized version of a man. And they, you know,
And what we find is that the more men can be their authentic selves to know what is really great about themselves and to understand how to forge these deeper relationships, the better off everyone's going to be. Yeah.
Yeah, I think there's a couple of different ways. So one is by You know, one of the things we say is if you want to develop self-esteem, go out and do something esteemable. So continue to try to like take actions that bring value to your own life. Go out and connect with other men as well as other women. Go out and do something great for your community. Go out and learn a new skill.
Take a class, not to meet women, but because there's something you really want to learn that you want to be excited about. Figure out what your passions are. Figure out what's worked well in the past, even if it's with non-romantic relationships, right? Like, surely there are relationships you have that do work. Maybe it's, you know, guys that you work with. Maybe it's people you play sports with.
Maybe it's your family. What is it about those relationships that work? And I think that helps bring the stakes down. It's like, oh, you're just trying to make a connection with another human being. That's really all it is. So I think those are some of the things that we would tell them.
Yeah, it's like things that you're excited about that get you up, like that make it you eager to get out of bed. And so, but I think the improv is a great example because it's something you're excited about, but it's also developing skills so that you can, um, you can use those in any conversation, right? Like that's what improv's all about.
It's like someone will say something and then you have to keep that conversation going. So that's a great way to give skills and also do something that you're excited about.
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