Madeline Berenson

So she tapped Dan on the shoulder, and she said, I don't care how pretty she is, it is not worth that abuse.

And you know what?

You deserve more.

And realizing that we had just morphed from the Granny Spice Girls into the Granny Greek Chorus, I thought, well, now it's my turn to add something.

So I said, yeah.

I said, that's not love.

That's not love.

And Dan was looking at us between the, you know, the space between seats, and his eyes, his big brown eyes were filled with tears.

And he said, mind your own fucking business!

So just then, Brittany comes back from the bathroom and she's still crying and she falls into her seat and she leans against Dan and she's whimpering, oh my God, she was so mean to me.

She was so mean to me.

And Dan's like, oh no, babe, I'm sorry, babe.

Meanwhile, back in row eight, we grannies weren't feeling quite so spicy anymore.

We just kind of slowly retreated into our own little personal spaces.

And cranky granny in the window seat closed her eyes and went to sleep.

judgmental granny in the aisle seat, pulled out a book and started to read, and me in the middle, busybody granny, I put in my earbuds, turned on my music, and listened to my love songs playlist all the way to Portland.

It's my favorite playlist, and I know what you're thinking, and no, there is no Barry Manilow on it.

Not one song.

Thank you.