Madeline Berenson

Can you understand that?

Can you just try to not be so lame?

Can you even try?

Oh, my god.

So she went on and on and on, all through the boarding process, all through takeoff.

And it was getting worse.

It was getting uglier and meaner.

And at one point, I realized that Mystic Granny and Sporty Granny and I were all holding hands in sort of this...

Kind of like we were bracing ourselves against this ugliness and this horror.

But I also realized that we knew this story.

We had seen this before, right?

The beautiful, abusive woman and the broken man under her spell who can never do anything right, is responsible for everything, and can fix nothing.

And when we got to altitude and Brittany was still at it, Mystic Granny broke.

And she reached up and she tapped Brittany on the shoulder and she said, excuse me, you are not the only person in the world.

There are other people on this plane and your childish, selfish tantrum is upsetting all of us.

It's time for you to stop.

Mystic Granny, stop.

And Brittany turned and looked at her, and she burst into tears.

And she got up, and she went off to the bathroom, and she stumbled down the aisle, sobbing all the way.

But now, Sporty Granny had something to say.