Matteo Lane
speaker
178 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Apr 2025
last heard Apr 2025
Matteo Lane’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Okay.
Yeah, underwear. I prefer briefs.
Yeah, like a Speedo. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or every once in a while, a box of briefs. I guess it depends. Look, I told you, they can't carry anything. I just want to say, Bert, you get gayer and gayer. This is something gay men would wear at the beach in Puerto Vallarta. That looks like a Speedo.
But they also use that for people who put in like, I think I've just saw this. They put in like a fake, like almost like for ball sacks, like in Speedos. I didn't know that this existed, but you can insert them in to kind of give like the shape, like almost like a push-up bra for your dick. I think it's on Amazon. I've not used it. You should have never told me that. They exist.
But what they do is they... Who is making these again? It's...
Okay.
But you've not posted any pictures of these on there? God, look at that body. That's the kind of body I wish I had.
Men's briefs. I love them explaining the technology of the underwear like an infomercial. Remember infomercials in the 90s?
Is that them? To be an underwear model must be such a great life. I would hate it. I'd love it. I'd have to be in shape all the time. But see, at some point, the dick looks so mutilated. First of all, I don't understand what the photoshopping is here. Yeah, I don't know why.
Yeah, you're probably right. But this just looks like they need to seek medical help immediately. I don't know that I find it to be exactly sexy. This is me in them.
But I feel like you do. No. Not like, no. My problem is I have a giant ass. And it sits really high. And I think I have like a pelvic tilt. That's what my sister says. And so what happens is like I can't wear underwear. Like it doesn't go around like that. Like it almost goes like down. It looks like I'm walking like a duck, like Donald Duck. Oh, that's so funny.
This is so fun. Anything else you want to ask before I go? This was so fun. Thank you for having me on. Do you think...
Well, there's a generation of women who were completely misguided by Cosmopolitan Magazine who told them to eat an ice cube beforehand and give them a surprise. I'm like... There's a board writers in the cosmopolitan art. You remember those magazines where it's like things you can do to spice it up for your man. And it was always the worst advice.
Like eat red pepper flakes and then do it's like, no, just anything warm is fine. Put in your toothpaste. Right. No, some sort of horrific, like unnecessary thing.
You can do the hand and the mouth at the same time. Oh, yeah. We'll talk.
You're right.
I'm getting a third hair transplant to deal with the stress. Are you serious? Yeah, I'm going to get one in July. I want to get one so bad. They have to finish The Crown. And I might go in a little bit more. I'm enjoying this sort of... Oh, I'm going to be studying that. You know what's so funny? There's a really funny comic, Jay Jordan, because I'm part Mexican.
And when I got a buzz cut, all he did was text me. He goes, now I see it. Thank you. This was so fun. I love you, brother. I love you, too. What fun. That was so fun. Thank you.
Showing 161–178 of 178 · page 9 of 9
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