Mike Coase

No, no, no, no. I was in Canada for like 15 years. I came out to L.A. 10 years ago. OK, because to become a successful comedian in America, you have to have a green card. And in order to get a green card, you have to get a bunch of fucking credits. You have to fill out six out of the ten, like, whatever it is, things. Like, commercials. Gotcha. Like, trophies. So you did all that?

No, no, no, no. I was in Canada for like 15 years. I came out to L.A. 10 years ago. OK, because to become a successful comedian in America, you have to have a green card. And in order to get a green card, you have to get a bunch of fucking credits. You have to fill out six out of the ten, like, whatever it is, things. Like, commercials. Gotcha. Like, trophies. So you did all that?

I did a lot of it.

I did a lot of it.

I did a lot of it.

But the process of coming here still helped. You have to do an STD test.

But the process of coming here still helped. You have to do an STD test.

But the process of coming here still helped. You have to do an STD test.

Yep, you have to test for syphilis. And mine came back like something was wrong with it. I didn't know.

Yep, you have to test for syphilis. And mine came back like something was wrong with it. I didn't know.

Yep, you have to test for syphilis. And mine came back like something was wrong with it. I didn't know.

No, it wasn't positive. It was inconclusive.

No, it wasn't positive. It was inconclusive.

No, it wasn't positive. It was inconclusive.

Hey, I've had HPV. I haven't had syphilis. I'll be honest about it. So I had to go back in. So they had to hold back my fucking green card for another three, four months. I kept having these going away parties in Toronto. Like, fuck you, Canada. I'm done.

Hey, I've had HPV. I haven't had syphilis. I'll be honest about it. So I had to go back in. So they had to hold back my fucking green card for another three, four months. I kept having these going away parties in Toronto. Like, fuck you, Canada. I'm done.

Hey, I've had HPV. I haven't had syphilis. I'll be honest about it. So I had to go back in. So they had to hold back my fucking green card for another three, four months. I kept having these going away parties in Toronto. Like, fuck you, Canada. I'm done.

I'm back. Never mind my pussies. I can't go to America yet. So I had to keep coming back. They do STD checks. They do. Not even AIDS, which I found alarming. Just STD.

I'm back. Never mind my pussies. I can't go to America yet. So I had to keep coming back. They do STD checks. They do. Not even AIDS, which I found alarming. Just STD.

I'm back. Never mind my pussies. I can't go to America yet. So I had to keep coming back. They do STD checks. They do. Not even AIDS, which I found alarming. Just STD.