Neil Brown
speaker
575 appearances
2 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2016
last heard Aug 2017
Neil Brown’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
Are they parenting to manage their kid?
Or are they parenting because these are values, these are standards, these are expectations, and I'm clarifying those.
So parents need to focus on
parental functions, what belongs to me and what belongs to my kid.
So if a parent is trying to get their kid to do something, for instance, let's just say you're trying to get your kid to do his homework, Debbie, right?
Which I'm sure this is a conversation you've had with your kid.
numerous times.
I'm I want you to do your homework now.
And then supposing the kid doesn't do it and then you start working again.
Well you need to do it, you need to do it now.
Well I don't want to do it and I want to do it later.
Well and you can get into a real pattern of being other person focused.
Instead of saying perhaps listen, you need to get your homework done, you need to get it started before dinner, you know what the privileges are and you know what it takes to earn them.
So that's the deal.
you handle it.
So now you're just being a parent, you're setting the standards and your kid gets to deal with that in a way that they are now responsible for.
But if you're responsible for getting them to do their homework,
Now you're back into being other person oriented and you're no longer being an effective parent and you're taking them off the hook from being an effective kid.
And when we absolutely and when we give them the message that we will control their behaviour, then they will uh get that message and they'll say, Well you're in control, not me.
So I'm not gonna do it.
Showing 421–440 of 575 · page 22 of 29
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