Nick Jonsson
speaker
71 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard May 2025
last heard May 2025
Nick Jonsson’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I became a very unhealthy person for the simple reason that I wasn't vulnerable. I didn't ask for help when I really needed it.
Yeah, absolutely. So why did I then cover loneliness? First off, I found myself quite lonely and isolated in my career. If you asked me at the time, would I be lonely and isolated? My answer would be no. But looking back at my corporate career, why did I resign in the end? Why did I burn out in the corporate career? It was because I isolated myself.
I was just too scared to be open, to be vulnerable, to ask for help. I was at the time a general manager of leading 72 hospitals and clinics in Indonesia, Jakarta. I wanted the next role. And for that, I tried to set myself up for success. I was not ready to talk. That left me lonely and isolated.
As I then started to research the subject and I interviewed other senior executives, I found that about 30% of the senior executives I interviewed in Southeast Asia also admitted that they would suffer from loneliness and isolation, either currently or have done in the past. So that tells us that this is a big problem.
I think you could be right. It could be even stronger and even more challenging in the US. But already what I saw was we live in this world where we elbow our way up the top to that corporate ladder only to find ourselves at the top like how I did. And then I question it. I question myself. Why did I do this? I pushed myself so hard to get here. To get here for what?
And that was the beginning of my fall, as it happens with many others, because we define ourselves in this work. We strive so hard. And then if we lose that, even by ourselves, by realizing this is not the right mountain I climbed, or that the company go through acquisition, or they lay us off, and then we lose our identity with that.
Yes, actually, I started my research around large organizations because I worked in a company with 1,400 staff myself. We can maybe call that the medium, but it's definitely not the startup for a small company. And that's what I wrote the book about. But as I then started to talk about this, more and more entrepreneurs came to me and said, Nick, this resonates with me as well.
Running a small shop, I don't have anyone to speak to. No one can understand me. But however, I have investors who put on pressure. I have the board who really demand the results. Then this can be a very lonely affair. And we find, indeed, a lot of entrepreneurs finding themselves completely lonely, isolated, burnt out. And if we talk at the extreme end also,
Yeah, we got to have safe spaces. If we are a man, for example, we need perhaps our men's group. We need some tribe where we can be open and honest and vulnerable, where we express our feelings. And then as professionally, we need to be in some organizations with other entrepreneurs, ideally entrepreneurs
We're sort of building similar kind of organizations, not competitors per se, so that we can feel safe. And then we can discuss the work-related challenges just to get that sympathy and understanding from others and that we are there to support each other. If we don't have any of that, then it can be a very lonely affair.
Many entrepreneurs I'm speaking with who define themselves also in this business and they take it as a... personal failure if the business doesn't work it could just be that it's a failing business model and it's not a personal failure per se yeah i think it
challenges will come setbacks will come and it's about how we handle them and indeed we can be proactive and the best way to do it is to look in your kind of space your field ideally identify perhaps some mentors so a little bit ahead of you in your game who you can reach out to and ask them okay would you mind to have a call with me from time to time do you mind if i reach out when things get tough and i do that myself as an author i have identified
authors who've written more books with me, more powerful books with me, and when I get that writer's block, I'm writing my second book now, then I have some people I can dial and I can call. I do the same with my speaking career. I have keynote speakers, I have facilitators, trainers in different spaces.
who are way ahead of me some who are five years some 10 i even have some gurus 20 years ahead of me who i can call when i need to so for that if you're in tech or in that space then find someone who's a techie who's done it who's maybe scaled up their business to 250 or 500 staff and have those calls and be ready when the roller coaster is starting that would be my tip
public speaking and training and mentors, for example, it's in the Asia Pacific Speaking Association, which we have in Singapore. I join their summits, their conferences in person. Sometimes I volunteer to perhaps do a role there in the board. You get to know some people in person. And if you feel that they have what you have as a speaker, then build a relationship and talk to them.
You're not always going to get a yes, but some of them are in the space that they want to give back. They're writing their legacy. And if you have an important business or a message that resonates with them, all you're asking for perhaps is a half an hour call from time to time. And I think everyone naturally is scared of...
being rejected but i would say go for it you have nothing to lose by asking but if you do it in person the most people i speak with have been offering and i'm also offering this myself to others and it's surprising how few people take me up on it when i go for it yeah that's a really interesting point this goes to one of the things we were talking about before we went live which is vulnerability which i absolutely want to transition to i think and this might be the perfect moment there's
Yeah, what I do when I do my workshops and keynotes, I share my story, the Nick who wasn't vulnerable. And that was not pretty. I actually went down the rabbit hole myself by not being vulnerable. And that was led to my corporate career and the crash of it. I even fell over to alcoholism for some time. I gained about 50, 60 pounds.
I became a very unhealthy person for the simple reason that I wasn't vulnerable. I didn't ask for help when I really needed it. That's about seven, eight years ago now. I rebuilt myself and I see Asking for help is my greatest strength today. I have mapped out people in all different areas who can mentor me. Also, I'm about paying it forward and giving it back at the same time.
And indeed, that was part of my training today. And one book that helped me that I read and that I applied and recommended to the audience today is by author Andy Lopata. He wrote a book called Just Ask. And he's really talking about this. How can you make
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