Nick Swardson

speaker
89 appearances 2 recordings 2 series first heard Aug 2024 last heard Feb 2025

Nick Swardson’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Appearances

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I can't shoot a gun.
I can't paddleboard.
All this fucking brisket is making my ass bleed.
What the fuck do you fucking people have against fucking broccoli?
What the fuck do you fucking people have against fucking broccoli?
What is going on tonight with you?
You got a wild thumb over there.
And why is it so goddamn hot?
It's 110 degrees and I can barely walk without everything below the waist glued together.
That's true.
That's true.
I think pants ought to be illegal instead of fucking abortions.
I was walking up 6th Street the other day and my laces came undone and I can't tie.
So I asked a security guard to help me with it.
And he said, his words not mine.
Sorry, I'm not a faggot.
Red band.
The Olympics is to normal people like normal people are to disabled people.
You are impressed to see people pole vaulting.
I'm impressed to see the fat people at Walmart reach the top shelf.
Showing 61–80 of 89 · page 4 of 5 ← Previous Next →