Niko Emanuilidis
speaker
147 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard Jan 2025
Niko Emanuilidis’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
When people jump into – we're talking all day long, phone calls, phone calls. You can't keep the engine running at 90% all the time. It's going to go down. And once it starts to go down, that's when you're going to get anxious and you're going to start spiraling. And then you start wondering, what is he doing? Does he like me anymore? And then maybe he pulls back even more. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Then he comes back. Oh, yeah, he loves me again. And it just creates this nightmare spiraling scenario when really if you just kind of kept him his arms distance because this is a stranger, you don't know this person yet. Keep him at arms distance and slowly over time because you can't expedite love. Love takes time. So until enough time has gone by, you wouldn't know the answer to that anyway.
Seeing him every other day and talking all day long can't make that process happen faster. It takes time for that to happen. And a man who's after quick and casual doesn't want to put in that time. Men who are seriously dating are willing to put in that time because the most valuable thing we have is time.
So a guy who's after casual wants to maximize everything he can get out of you out of the shortest period of time possible. And the guy who's meant for you, who wants to be with you, won't mind going slower because he sees the big picture. He sees your value. Right when he met you, this is a girlfriend material. Like, I want to push this towards there.
And he will be willing to put in that work to get there. So I'd say that is a long answer. But that is my biggest thing. One of the biggest problems I see in dating is this. Oh, my God, we have a connection. I have to act on it. I have to see you every day. Talk all day long. Slow it down.
Slow it down, because honestly, it's more attractive if you're a little bit harder to get, a little bit aloof, a little bit mysterious. You're not super, super available. It's more attractive anyway. And you learn if you like somebody, like I said, through that space apart. Do you miss the person? All right, so that's great. That's a good sign.
But if you're seeing them every other day, you don't know if you could even miss somebody. So slowing down that pace and controlling that anxious sort of looping thoughts and behaviors in yourself is probably one of the bigger problems that I see when people meet somebody who they're crazy about.
Yeah, so when I use the word playing games, and then there's game. Game is the understanding of attraction. Women have game. Men have game. Do you understand how to be the most attractive version of yourself? Do you know what the opposite sex finds attractive? So that's first and foremost. Playing games is using that knowledge to manipulate. We don't want somebody who's playing games.
We want everyone to understand games. And understand just, you know, human psychology to a baseline level. I'm not a doctor, but like there's an understanding of this. And just like I was saying before, it's the being a little mysterious, not being super easy to contact all the time. And this it's not playing games. It's understanding.
like the proper space and flow of how to slowly build a relationship. This is on both the man and the woman. So it's kind of hard to be like, this is all on the woman. Cause if a guy's not doing it and not showing up in that way, it's not going to work.
But when I talk about like how a healthy masculine man sort of goes about the courting stages, exactly like to your point where you're like, I pull away if a guy's doing too much, which you should, because that is needy energy, needy behavior. And since you're extremely secure in yourself, you don't like that repels you.
Like they talk about nice guys, nice guys typically give that sort of needy energy, which is not attractive. It's not attractive at all. But the reason why people – I'm going down a tangent here. But the reason why people find like quote-unquote like fuckboys attractive is because it's the opposite end of the spectrum where they give you no attention. So you're saying to yourself –
This guy must be so busy and so cool. And this might be subconscious or conscious. This guy must be so busy and so cool. I want to be a part of his life. I want to crack the code. That's attractive. That is never going to change. That is never going to change. So as a man, how do you manufacture that attraction? while also being a good guy, right? So when I talk to guys, it's not being too needy.
We're not blowing women up. It's the same advice I give to men and women, but it's just sort of flipped. It's the one date per week. You're about your purpose. You're about your life. You're about the goals. You're working on your business, whatever you have going on. And you prioritize the woman who you're serious about appropriately for where you are in the relationship. One date per week,
And then you build from there where on the flip side, it's important that women look at it that same exact way because it's just a healthier pace to go about it. So it's funny that my man advice and women advice, although it's different as far as the attraction, like how to kind of go about things, but the messaging as far as how to build a healthy relationship or what that feels like is the same.
I would like to hear how you- From a man's perspective or a woman's perspective?
So for a man, it's all dependent on the attraction level and the chemistry level. Right. So let's say you and I went out. Right. And it's like attraction. Chemistry is at a 10. Right. I knowing that the only way I could mess that up is if I came at you super needy.
If you already really liked me, thought I was attractive, liked my vibe, liked my energy, the way I would mess that up with you is being too nice, too eager, all that kind of stuff that gives you the ick immediately. For a man understanding game, it's why is that fuckboy attractive? Because he's kind of aloof. All those things are bad because it's too much. But if you just reel that in...
like 40% and you kind of get that 60% level where it's like, no, I'm going to be about my business. I go to the gym, but I am going to be a good guy. I'm going to communicate. I'm going to set the dates once per week. There's going to be consistent communication, not constant communication. She's always going to know when I'm going to reach out to her. She knows when the date is.
And that's a direct, it's just like that boom, direct guy. That's got his shit together. That is attractive. That is extremely attractive. And that's what I noticed when I talked to all these women, most guys aren't moving like this. It's either side of the spectrum. Right. And it depends on your inner work and sort of like what you gravitate towards. Some people gravitate towards love bombers.
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