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Patton Oswalt

๐Ÿ‘ค Speaker
534 total appearances

Appearances Over Time

Podcast Appearances

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

I know how to tell really good jokes, and that should be where my responsibility begins and ends. It's still a responsibility, but we've become so skewed. I don't know. I was thinking about that this morning while I was getting ready to come here. I was just like, why are we the truth? Somebody, I think they wrote on Blue Sky, like, the comedians are the last truth tellers.

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

I know how to tell really good jokes, and that should be where my responsibility begins and ends. It's still a responsibility, but we've become so skewed. I don't know. I was thinking about that this morning while I was getting ready to come here. I was just like, why are we the truth? Somebody, I think they wrote on Blue Sky, like, the comedians are the last truth tellers.

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

I'm like, we should be the first truth tellers and then eight other truth tellers pick up the, take the ball from us and run it into the end zone. And that's not happening anymore.

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

I'm like, we should be the first truth tellers and then eight other truth tellers pick up the, take the ball from us and run it into the end zone. And that's not happening anymore.

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

But in his defense, he kept screaming at the top of his lungs, you should not be getting your news from me. You should be watching whatever news you can, however good it is, however bad it is. It was never great. And then I should be Eric Severide who comes on after Walter Cronkite and go, here's what all this means. But I shouldn't be your source of news.

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

But in his defense, he kept screaming at the top of his lungs, you should not be getting your news from me. You should be watching whatever news you can, however good it is, however bad it is. It was never great. And then I should be Eric Severide who comes on after Walter Cronkite and go, here's what all this means. But I shouldn't be your source of news.

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

But yeah, it became the source of news and the news had to become entertaining and funny.

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

But yeah, it became the source of news and the news had to become entertaining and funny.

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

yeah there's days i'm completely hopeless but and and i instead of it hopelessness is like a day that you cheat on your diet you can't throw it all away because you had one bad day like okay i had a bad day i sank there i'll show up again tomorrow with something um you it's weird you mentioned mark because i text him all the time about the state of comedy and i'm way more wound up and angry about it and he's like you just sit and

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

yeah there's days i'm completely hopeless but and and i instead of it hopelessness is like a day that you cheat on your diet you can't throw it all away because you had one bad day like okay i had a bad day i sank there i'll show up again tomorrow with something um you it's weird you mentioned mark because i text him all the time about the state of comedy and i'm way more wound up and angry about it and he's like you just sit and

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

stew about this and make yourself get angry. He's hit this level. I wouldn't say it's despair, but it's like this, I know what I can do in the world, and I also know what I can't do in the absence make me throw the whole thing out the window. I show up and do what I can.

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

stew about this and make yourself get angry. He's hit this level. I wouldn't say it's despair, but it's like this, I know what I can do in the world, and I also know what I can't do in the absence make me throw the whole thing out the window. I show up and do what I can.

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

What was the thing that Cory Booker, I'm sure he was paraphrasing somebody, but he said, just because you can't do everything shouldn't mean that you don't do anything. Do something. Obviously, no one can do everything. but show up, just in terms of it being a life force of like, I'm still alive and I'm still here.

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

What was the thing that Cory Booker, I'm sure he was paraphrasing somebody, but he said, just because you can't do everything shouldn't mean that you don't do anything. Do something. Obviously, no one can do everything. but show up, just in terms of it being a life force of like, I'm still alive and I'm still here.

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

And yeah, some days I feel like Steve McQueen floating on the coconut at the end of Papillon, just, I'm still alive, you bastards. But sometimes just being alive is a victory.

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

And yeah, some days I feel like Steve McQueen floating on the coconut at the end of Papillon, just, I'm still alive, you bastards. But sometimes just being alive is a victory.

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

I think he actually gave us longer. I think when I was in Miami, especially, that was two months after the election. I think I said, when society does collapse, and let's be honest, February, I think I gave it like two months. I mean, I had no hope at that point. He still has. I think the reason he's saying seven to eight years is because I think he wants to give himself time to,

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

I think he actually gave us longer. I think when I was in Miami, especially, that was two months after the election. I think I said, when society does collapse, and let's be honest, February, I think I gave it like two months. I mean, I had no hope at that point. He still has. I think the reason he's saying seven to eight years is because I think he wants to give himself time to,

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

buy property up in Canada and get out of here, you know? Where I'm just like, I think it's just too late. We're all going to be stuck at the border trying to get out.

The Dan Le Batard Show with Stugotz
South Beach Sessions - Patton Oswalt

buy property up in Canada and get out of here, you know? Where I'm just like, I think it's just too late. We're all going to be stuck at the border trying to get out.