Paul Eastwick

Like you found a way to talk about, you know, French cinema together, like bully for you, but that's not going to predict whether you're going to fit well together in the long run.

But the thing is, there are so many things out there that people can build around as they're forming a relationship.

And this is why we often like to think of the whole compatibility process.

It's something that people are constructing over time rather than something that they're finding by swiping the right people on the apps.

I think, yeah.

But I think really the problem here is that it's so much choice that we feel like we have to do something to narrow it down to something that's going to be manageable.

But this does have downstream consequences because in any environment where people feel like they have too much choice, there's just too many options for them to consider.

They're a little bit less likely to commit to any one option.

This is very much a shopping mentality that I'm describing.

And in fact, these studies were originally conducted at supermarkets.

And to the extent that we've turned dating into something approximating a supermarket, well, we shouldn't be surprised that now people are treating it this way.

And so you feel like there are all these options out there.

Well, you're less likely to try to put in the work to make a relationship happen with one particular person.

Yeah, and look, I want to be clear, too.

This is the vanguard of the science right now.

This is what we're all out here trying to figure out.

Like, we know compatibility is important.

Just where is it coming from if it's not coming from a shared sense of similarity?

I do think a lot of it is chaotic, as you described.

It requires a certain amount of luck.