Peyton Ruddy

My second favorite holiday would have to be, no doubt, Cinco de Mayo, right?

All you know is the bank is closed, okay?

So I have a suggestion, right?

That's when Mexicans get together, sell cocaine, and kill each other.

I have a tattoo to suggest a holiday that I think that black people would love, okay?

Trust me, I've seen four seasons of the Narcos.

Right?

I know exactly how this shit works.

Let me show y'all right now.

The problem I have with holidays is black people don't have any cool holidays, right?

You know, when you think about black holidays, what do we have?

OJ Day, right?

Martin Luther King Day.

And what is Martin Luther King Day?

A bunch of niggas running around in the cold with sweaters on with Martin Luther King face on it.

Y'all white people don't even show up for that shit, right?

And then our other holiday is Juneteenth.

Like, my man, if I was to ask you what Juneteenth, what would you say?

Nigga, that's the day they free the slaves.

All you know is the bank is closed, okay?