Phyllis Fagell
speaker
361 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Oct 2021
last heard Oct 2021
Phyllis Fagell’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsNo recordings in the last 12 months.Older appearances are listed below; set an alert to hear about the next one.
Appearances
Because if you don't validate, if you don't allow them to feel the feelings, then they will never calm down enough to actually be able to operate from their prefrontal cortex and do that problem solving.
You just won't get anywhere.
You'll be stuck.
You'll only prolong the conflict.
And so you asked what adults can do.
You can actually be authentic with your kids about when it's happening to you and show them not only that it feels bad and it's normal for it to feel bad, but also you can put one foot in front of the other and you're going to be okay.
Because I think that at any point we want our kids to have hope, to have optimism, to see the glasses half full.
That is such a huge part of resilience.
But right now it's going to be even harder to get them into that place.
And so anything we can do to let them see us work through these challenging moments that, of course, we all have and we all still struggle with our various things, whether we're people pleasers or we can't accept that somebody doesn't like us or our relationship is over.
Those are really challenging, hard things to deal with as adults.
The beautiful thing, though, is that if we can teach a kid how to do that when they're young, we now have created a human who's able to manage that discomfort and sit with it and not do something stupid like spread a rumor or post something they regret or lash out in anger for the rest of their lives.
So let me talk about The Bachelor for a second.
Please.
So The Bachelor is actually in my book.
And I'll tell you why.
My kids, my two older kids, they were in middle school when I was writing Middle School Matters, and they would watch The Bachelor all of the time in the living room.
And I was so tempted to turn it off and to say, you can't watch that.
I mean, it's,
totally inappropriate in so many different ways, but it also creates this unrealistic, horrible image of what true love is and what relationships should be like and what reciprocity and generosity and that buildup, you know, that you start with handholding before you get married, all of that.
Showing 241–260 of 361 · page 13 of 19
← Previous
Next →