Ronny Chieng

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Welcome back to The Daily Show.

We all know I've got great opinions, but turns out I'm not the only one.

Studies show that other people also have opinions.

So here with another installment of In My Opinion is our good friend Nick Offerman.

Hello, I'm velvet-tongued carpenter Nick Offerman.

Everyone knows it's important to remember the birthday of the one you love, and the one I love is America.

Don't worry, my wife Megan knows, and she's not not into it.

And this year happens to be a particularly big birthday for America.

Happy birthday, America!

Are you one?

Are you two?

Are you three?

And so on.

America's semi-quincentennial is here, and to throw it semi-quinceañera, I hope we have a great party planner.

In my campaign for president, I pledge to give America the most spectacular birthday party the world has ever seen for America's 250th anniversary.

Okay.

Sure, Trump, plan the party.