Rusty Irani
speaker
61 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard Nov 2024
Rusty Irani’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
You know, I wish I could do that, but nobody here would like even come to support me. First of all, I would not even be able to make it to the town hall here. So like, you know, that would be like a challenge. Right, right.
The first thing I do is put you on a wheelchair, like, you know, without causing you any bodily harm. Like, you know, we just, I mean, this big guy on a wheelchair and this other tall freak on the wheelchair. Hey, hey, easy there, buddy.
I mean... Have you seen the attitude of the Indians towards like any person with like pale skin? Like, you know, you would be like the star attraction here. Like, you know, like I could pay, I could get money from people to just have you on the streets, like going over ramps like Evel Knievel. Hey, this isn't a circus.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Every time I try to get into my vehicle, I have like an audience of 15 to 20 people. Like, you know, if I had charged them, I could have earned enough to like, you know, pay for some medicine for my disease. Like, you know, that's the first thing I would do.
And the other thing I wanted to do is like, you know, I want to get all this pent up energy and all this pop culture, like crap that's full of my like experiences. I want to start my own YouTube channel. Like, Oh, okay. I've already trademarked a name called Wheelie Vision. Wheelie Vision? I don't think... Wheelie Vision, yeah.
It's a channel by the disabled, for the disabled, and it's got nothing to do with, like, side stories. It's all about one day dedicated to, like, you know, doing actual wheelchair reviews like you would do, like, a car review. A day dedicated to doing... It's cool. A day dedicated to doing, like, a talk show.
Oh, I mean, from everything from like a key and peel kind of like a skit comedy show with no holes barred, like, you know, like like two blind guys having sex using dotted condoms where like the condoms are in Braille. So you get to learn new things as you're having sex. OK, I'm writing these ideas down.
Yep, and then, like, you know, somebody with, like, a sign language interpreter going with a deaf guy for a singing competition, and the interpreter does the singing, but the guy who's actually deaf and mute gets to win the prize because, you know, well, they're, like... So you're just sitting around thinking of this stuff.
Yeah, I think about... I wake up at night thinking, what if it's the next zombie apocalypse and I'm on a wheelchair and I turn into a zombie? I wouldn't be able to operate my wheelchair, like, you know? I mean, I think about these things. I think about going to a bar and like, you know, going way over the limit and I don't have a designated driver for my wheelchair.
Like, you know, how does that work? Like, you know. So you're suggesting. And to be honest, like, you know, I go to like a pharmacy in the U.S. Here it's all over the counter prescription. I go to a pharmacy in the U.S. The first thing they hand me is like a pill. like a bottle full of pills and it says, don't operate heavy machinery. I'm always operating heavy machinery.
Like, you know, what are you supposed to do? You know, it's shit like that. Like, you know, it's funny. It's, it's, I want people to laugh at the disabled and not in a bad way. You know, it's, it's, I think you want them to laugh.
Yeah, absolutely.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I grew up on video games. Like I said, if you are on a wheelchair, there's not a lot of outdoorsy stuff that you can do, though I gave it a shot. But yeah, video games were introduced to me at a very young age from the old Atari system, playing Pong with that big joystick thingy. You know, then moving on to like knockoffs, we didn't get like American game consoles.
They still proliferate the markets here in Mumbai. Like you get ripoffs of every known console ever. But they've got these funny Chinese names, like the Nintendo NES used to be called the Samurai system, like, you know, for some reason.
There is one being developed right now in India where they've taken all the old versions of GTA, Grand Theft Auto, and they've taken all the tanned players from the non-NPC characters, the non-playing characters who are all having tans, and they put them into the Indian version of the game. So every tanned NPC player... I made it into the Indian version of GTA.
That was insane looking. To give them due credit, it's still in the prototype stage. It's still a pilot project.
Not me.
They haven't progressed beyond rickshaws yet. But it's still called Grand Theft Auto. No, no, no. It's got some Indian name. It's a working title. They still haven't figured out what to call it yet.
They are my caregivers, my best friends. Nice. I'm on a first-name basis with them in that sense. They know everything about me, and I know everything about them.
Yeah. They don't throw potatoes at me. Okay, all right.
Showing 21–40 of 61 · page 2 of 4
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