Sal Vulcano

She didn't come home until three days later.

So I had the machete in the house now.

Like I felt better, but I wasn't going to get a gun.

I just, you know, whatever.

I think I couldn't get a gun that quick anyway, right?

So I don't even know if it's legal, whatever.

So I get this machete.

I have it in the, we have the king size bed.

It's a split king.

Right.

So I had it like in the crack.

of the bed.

So when she came home three days later, she got home at night, she hadn't been home in like six days, she took a shower, she had major surgery, she was healing, she just got in bed and it was already late at night and so I was in bed and I went in bed with her and we shut the lights and I was laying down, I forgot that, I didn't tell her that I ordered a machete, I forgot that it was in between the bed.

So she felt it and she's like, what is this?

And I just was like,

I knew she wasn't going to be happy about it.

So it's just like, you know, that's our machete.

We got a machete, Amazon Prime machete.

And she's like, you're not keeping the machete.

Long story short, when I was laying there without her for a few days, I was like, this is not a good weapon.