Sara Jane Ho
speaker
196 appearances
1 recordings
1 series
first heard Dec 2024
last heard Dec 2024
Sara Jane Ho’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
So when I went to Swiss finishing school in Switzerland, it was very European based. But they would talk about different countries on their own. So there'd be country modules. Now, I actually tweaked a lot of the core schedule for my local market for China. And everything we teach, we do what you just asked about, which is a Chinese and Western comparison.
And because I spent my life being between both extremely different cultures, it comes very naturally for me to say, well, this is how we do it in China. This is how we've done it in the UK or in Europe. And this is how it's done in America.
Yes. And because to me, etiquette... And this is how I'm trying to redefine etiquette. People think that etiquette is... They think it's very traditional, that it should be taught by a strict middle-aged lady with her hair in a bun or something and wearing a suit. And to me... Etiquette is just about, it's about putting people around you at ease. That is really what the spirit of etiquette is.
That people feel comfortable around you and then you feel comfortable around them. And that goes again back to human connection, human belonging, which is what makes us human.
Yes, exactly. EQ. And knowing how to read the air is what I talk about in my book. When you go into a room and when you meet a new person, you can kind of pick up on the vibes, I guess, is what you'd say in American culture. In China, we'd call it the Qi, Q-I, the energy. We read energy. And so even for me, let's say we're sitting at a dining table, I'm speaking with you like this.
Actually, out of this corner of my eye, I can see who's bored, who's shy, who's playing on their phone, who needs a top up for their wine glass, right? All these things. So having that self-awareness and sensitivity. And I think part of it is also... You know, the reason why I decided to target adults for my finishing school is because I believe that it begins with upbringing.
And the most beautiful gift a parent can give their child is good manners.
So, so yeah. So my, my finishing school, it's for ladies and, And many are mothers. So like 90% of my clients are mothers. So they can then teach their children.
Right. Because they want to be role models for their children. And to me, that is the most important thing. And I do have some young adults, like actually sometimes I have mothers and daughters because I have a hostess course for married women and a debutante course for unmarried women. So sometimes I'll have a mother in hostess and then her daughter in my debutante class. Okay.
Yeah. Yeah. So, okay. So I opened my Beijing school in 2013, followed by a Shanghai school in 2015. Okay. So at some point I was between two cities. My co-founder, Rebecca, who's my co-founder for my finishing school to this day, she's based in Beijing. And actually she does, because now I'm traveling a lot and she does most of the teaching now.
And during COVID, China had pretty stringent lockdowns. And during that time, it was just impossible to hold a class to teach. And so I closed down both physical schools. And now we're, so actually what we do now is whenever we have classes, we have them in the Waldorf Astoria in Shanghai, for example.
Or we work with different, we'll just choose different venues and different hotels to hold our courses in. And how long is the course? Well, the hostess course is 10 days long. Oh, okay. Yeah. And then the debutante course is eight days long. But we also have weekend courses. And we also work with a lot of luxury brands to hold etiquette workshops for their VIPs. So for their customers. Okay.
Like what are the top British afternoon tea table manners is the most popular and most practical course. Yeah. I would imagine. Right. Cause in China, everybody uses chopsticks. Right. So, and, and even Western dining is a really new concept. Really? It really just came about. I mean, in the nineties, it was a Very basically no Western restaurants in China.
And then in the 2000s, a couple of started springing up. Now, every Michelin chef is going to China.
Well, we need to dial it back to first impressions. And first impressions, some research says two minutes, some research says not even a second, right? So somebody's forming a first impression of you within a second of seeing you. So that's before you even speak, before you say anything. And usually, I mean, we want to make good first impressions. That's why it's so important.
And whenever we make a negative, let's say if we have if somebody forms a negative impression of us, then it takes it's varying. So some people have said it takes a certain number of hours. But generally speaking, everybody points to some Harvard research study that, you know, that doesn't really exist. I haven't been able to find it.
But generally speaking, they say it takes eight positive encounters to change a mind of somebody's negative impression of you. So if you know that, then it's much better to make a good first impression rather than to make a bad impression and then have to work really hard to turn that around.
Yeah. And it's funny. I mean, you could have been doing, you could have been performing consistently well at work, for example. And if you screw up, you know, the most recent project, then that's the recency effect, right? In people's minds, okay, well, but she screwed up the last project. Right.
So the way to work around that is to then actively make good on a lot of projects in order to move the bad project further down the line.
We grapple with the digital world. And that's why at the end of every chapter, whether it's my social chapter, work, career, love and relationships, food and dining, at the end, there's always a subchapter. So I end every chapter with a subchapter that talks about the digital etiquette for these things. And I think that, you know, my Netflix show, Mind Your Manners, was delayed because of COVID.
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