Sarah Bays

speaker

910 appearances 2 recordings 1 series first heard Jun 2026 last heard 26 Jun

Sarah Bays’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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recordings per month · last 12 months

Recordings per month over the last 12 months — 2 in all, peaking in Jun 2026 with 2.

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But Are You Happy? · Why You Don't Trust Anyone Anymore (And How To Change That) · 26 Jun 2026 podcast

How do we manage that?

And what would we do next time with that person?

Would we maybe wait a little bit longer before we agree to go and play with them?

Or would we want to see that they're now acting nicely before we hang out with them again?

So it's just like you can even teach these little skills from the beginning.

That's a good one because there's, yeah, trust in others and trust in ourself.

And I think it kind of overlaps when people really struggle to rebuild trust.

It's often partially because they don't trust themselves.

If it's a thoughtful choice to no longer trust that person, that's a different story.

That's nothing to do with your own self-trust.

But when people have decided that they want to rebuild trust and they want to work on it,

but they start doing things that get in the way of that, that usually indicates to me that they don't trust themselves.

It's one I see a lot with couples, particularly when there's been a big betrayal.

It could be, you know, your partner,

has actually been using drugs for the last few years and maybe spent most of your savings that you had as a couple, or it could be that your partner has been cheating or had an affair or something like that.

I see with a partner who's been betrayed, they...

can get into a place where they decided they want to stay they've decided they don't want to leave the relationship they're coming to couples therapy but they are not giving their partner the chance to actually repair the trust because to do that you have to give them the opportunity so they almost have to be given enough leeway to hurt you again

Or to show you that they've learned something and that they really are sorry and that they are making behavior change.

And people can be very, very hesitant to let their partner have enough rope to either go whichever way they're going to go with it.

So they almost like keep them on this really tight leash.

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