Sawyer (Mel's daughter)
speaker
186 appearances
5 recordings
2 series
first heard Nov 2024
last heard Apr 2025
Sawyer (Mel's daughter)’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
I think that is such good advice. And it's as simple as moving your bed to another angle or part of your room. Or you don't have to buy anything. Just remove the stuffed animals. Remove anything that they... may have given you and give your room a makeover.
It's also a fun project that makes you feel like you are changing your environment and starting a new chapter, but not in a way that is related to them.
And better yet, show up at their house to pick them up for the fitness class. Don't just text them and obviously someone is going to say no. When you're going through a breakup, you don't want to be around anyone. You want to be alone. You want to be sad. Show up. in person because it really matters.
And whether that means drop off toilet paper or drop off a meal or order them Uber Eats for dinner because I guarantee you they're not spending a ton of time cooking. And when you go the extra mile to actually show up for people and drive them to the workout class or invite them to your parents for the weekend and
It really helps because like when someone is mourning a death, with heartbreak, you don't want to do anything. You can barely get out of bed in the morning. And so showing up goes a lot farther than just sending a text and hoping that that cuts it.
And I can attest to that because I did not do that. I had no plans during the summer. I sat at home. I poured every single ounce of me into my work and I never, ever took a break and it all came crashing down on me. And so now I have set my weekends up. moving forward to really go and prioritize and see my friends. And it's a little harder because we're up in Vermont.
I'm living at my parents' right now. For all of you guys at home in your 20s living at home, you're not alone. But yeah, so fill your calendar with things you're actually excited about versus filling your calendar with work or things that feel like an obligation or... Anything that working out, like go do fun things that bring you joy and laughter, not things that you feel like you have to do.
Because I think what drives people off the rails when you either get broken up with or when you're even marching towards a breakup is the fear of being single and the fear of never finding your person. And when you get broken up with or you break up with someone, you feel...
so much farther away from the person that you actually are going to meet because you're going through it and you want your old life and you wish that things would actually just go back to normal. You're not looking towards the future. You're looking towards the past. And so if someone told you, hey, in approximately 75 days,
The love of your life is going to walk into the coffee shop and come up to you and you're going to go on your first date and the rest is history. What would you do in the next 75 days? I would go skydiving. I would go move to Australia. I would run a marathon. I think about all these things and I'm like, oh, great.
If that's already set up for me and I am confident in the fact that they're actually coming and then I can live my life happy and be in the moment. But instead, we live in this fear that they're never, ever, ever going to come. And so you just hold on to the past or hold on to the next person you meet.
It's true.
I think the one thing that I disagree with my mom on is just the love yourself message. Because again, whether you're dating, whether you're going through a breakup, it's really hard to hear that when all you want is for someone else to love you. And I think, yes, of course, you could absolutely love yourself, but you could still be really upset that you haven't found your person.
What I was going to say is, I think for me personally, when I first met Darren, I also was uninterested in dating. I also was completely over it and still not over even another guy that I was seeing before that. And so I think
you feeling like no one is good enough or I don't want to date and I'm so uninterested in these people is not only normal, but I do think that paying close attention to who makes you feel safe, who sparks your interest, who makes you smile and laugh, those are all little pieces of data that can tell you, oh, maybe I want to explore this. And are they going to be here forever? No.
But I remember when I first met Darren way back when, I wasn't interested. I wasn't... It took me a long time to become and develop and develop that safety and that love and that support. And it's just not immediate with anyone.
I think that the spark is important, though, and that's what we feel when we're growing up and we're little. And you are trained to look for that. Disney trained you for that. That's not how the real world works.
I love that. So question number three is from Tim, who is 27. Even though we've broken up, so much of what I do still involves my ex. I want to look good in case she sees me. I want to post on social media for her to see. I want to date someone else to make her jealous. How do I stop living my life for her and start living it for me? Tim.
Thanks, Mom.
And what I will say to you, mom, is thank you so much for using the let them theory with me and actually letting me process and saying let them every day and giving me the space that I really needed to move through this and process this. And I couldn't have done it without you. Oh, well, I think you could have.
Showing 141–160 of 186 · page 8 of 10
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