Stephan Speaks
speaker
257 appearances
3 recordings
2 series
first heard Jan 2025
last heard May 2025
Stephan Speaks’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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Appearances
The School of Greatness · Safe Relationship Choices Often Lead to Unfulfillment · 31 Jan 2025
podcast
I mean think whenever you hear stories of nice guys being run over and getting played it usually involves this man who is just trying to do everything the woman wants and just putting all his desires aside to make her happy that doesn't work not like that it doesn't.
Yes, but the safety, So, the safety that's being achieved by picking the safe choice is I don't have to be too vulnerable in this relationship. So, I'm able to guard myself from devastating hurt and disappointment that I've probably experienced at least once before at least at a level that I felt like I don't ever want to go there again.
That's very different than the man who she is completely invested in, completely in love with and he understands the need to provide safety and security for her. The need to make the situation or the relationship more stable for her where she can rest in her feminine energy so to speak while she's with him. That's two different types of safety. So, it's like okay, if you choose a safe man
And that's the big one.
it's a situation where she feels like he wants me or he loves me more than i do him and that's where they feel like it is safe but again it doesn't work in the long run never yeah i want to say never never i should never say never but i would just use that word because if someone if you are in a relationship like that and maybe you're not even conscious that you're doing it in the beginning but you realize a year two years in okay
Well, so it's a tricky place because at that point, it's hard for them to fully express what's going on. Like one of the things I tell women is that one of the worst positions to be in is with a man you're not truly in love well, with a good man you're not truly in love with. Why is that the worst position? Because at that point if she's feeling empty she's feeling bored she's feeling unsatisfied
who can she run to and say this to that won't say but wait a minute you have a great man you can't do that oh, just work... Like, no one's going to say oh, yeah you know what I get it just walk away. Now, I won't say no one but most people aren't going to allow that to be a good enough reason for her to walk away.
So, she knows she's going to get pushback from people but not just pushback from people from her own self. It's like okay, wait a minute do I leave this great guy who loves me so much
which is so safe here even though I'm not really that happy I'm not fulfilled or maybe I'm not that attracted to him that's a tough position to be in because it's like it would be so much easier if he cheated on her it'd be so much easier if he was abusive or something then she can easily validate oh, okay I got to go.
And that's why some women in that situation what they do is try to create turmoil. Drama. Yes, they're trying to find something to give them the exit to say okay, I don't have to be here anymore. or to make that man want to leave them. And in fairness this happens on both sides but I've literally talked to clients who the only reason they cheated hoping it would make their partner leave them.
Oh, my gosh. Because what was happening was in this instance she was trying to tell the guy over and over I don't want to be here. But again, he's this good guy I love you I don't want to lose you. I'll do whatever you need, I'll change. And out of guilt and sympathy she stays with him.
But she's so not happy so now she's thinking okay, he won't leave me even when I tell him I don't want to do this anymore. Even when I tell him this is not working so what can I do? And some will actually cheat on purpose let the man find out hoping he would finally let go and in some cases he still doesn't let go.
He gets cheated on and he still wants to work it out with her and she feels trapped. And so, it just continues like it's just a never-ending cycle until either one of them finally gets tired of it or I don't know just it just it's crazy.
It's the same answer for the women in reverse. It's walking in their true, feminine, confident self, whoever they really are, but being that best version of themselves.
to what you were saying it can't be find a man who you can be feminine with it has to be be your feminine self first and you'll be able to attract the man that you can continue to be feminine with or that will honor respect and value your feminine energy and protect your feminine energy that's what you want but what's happening to so many women is
they become detached from their femininity or they're viewing it in a negative way they're viewing it as weakness as when I'm feminine I get played I get taken advantage of. And so, the mindset is if I find the right man I can be that.
So, you hear a lot of women say well, I am feminine in a relationship the problem is he can't see that far in to know that he wants to get in a relationship with you.
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