Stephen Colbert

The federal government maintains, however, that marijuana, or as it's known on the street, funny pot cigarettes, is illegal, period, and has severely criticized prescribing the drug to those freewheeling, long-haired, hippie AIDS and cancer patients just trying to score a free high off Uncle Sam. Those people are sick. Seriously, they're sick and they need help.

Robert McGinnis of the Family Research Council has come out strongly against medical marijuana.

Robert McGinnis of the Family Research Council has come out strongly against medical marijuana.

Robert McGinnis. Speaking out strongly and poorly against miracle marijuana. Medical marijuana. Which is a miracle. Now, the upcoming Supreme Court debate could even be a hotter button issue than Americans not sleeping enough. That's why it's the subject of tonight's Even Steven. You just made me vomit in my own mouth.

Robert McGinnis. Speaking out strongly and poorly against miracle marijuana. Medical marijuana. Which is a miracle. Now, the upcoming Supreme Court debate could even be a hotter button issue than Americans not sleeping enough. That's why it's the subject of tonight's Even Steven. You just made me vomit in my own mouth.

The medical marijuana initiatives in California and New Mexico were approved by the voters solely to help seriously ill patients for whom marijuana offers the only relief from pain. Who could deny an 80-year-old woman a moment of respite from her tortured existence? But I suppose there are a few sick individuals out there who get off on other people suffering, Steven.

The medical marijuana initiatives in California and New Mexico were approved by the voters solely to help seriously ill patients for whom marijuana offers the only relief from pain. Who could deny an 80-year-old woman a moment of respite from her tortured existence? But I suppose there are a few sick individuals out there who get off on other people suffering, Steven.

This marijuana is medicine, Steven. I'm pro-people, not pro-pot. Oh, come on, Steve.

This marijuana is medicine, Steven. I'm pro-people, not pro-pot. Oh, come on, Steve.

Steven, just because I support medical marijuana, it's ludicrous to imply that I'm a dope fiend. That's like saying because I support the repeal of the marriage tax penalty that I'm into wife swapping.

Steven, just because I support medical marijuana, it's ludicrous to imply that I'm a dope fiend. That's like saying because I support the repeal of the marriage tax penalty that I'm into wife swapping.

Fine. Let's. What you're suggesting about my access to sweet Malaysian skunkweed is just as ridiculous as if I said, hey, Stephen Colbert, why don't you and your wife come over some night this week and we can exchange partners?

Fine. Let's. What you're suggesting about my access to sweet Malaysian skunkweed is just as ridiculous as if I said, hey, Stephen Colbert, why don't you and your wife come over some night this week and we can exchange partners?

You're not listening, Steven. You're in a fantasy world where I smoke pot and could get my hands on some very kind bud. But we would be wife swapping this Friday. Have I made myself clear?

You're not listening, Steven. You're in a fantasy world where I smoke pot and could get my hands on some very kind bud. But we would be wife swapping this Friday. Have I made myself clear?

And I'm Steve Carell, and this has been Even Stephen.

And I'm Steve Carell, and this has been Even Stephen.

Well, John, the WWF IPO is creating quite a buzz. Investors are looking for product branding and long-term growth.

Well, John, the WWF IPO is creating quite a buzz. Investors are looking for product branding and long-term growth.

Steven, wait, I... Steven, what? Is everything okay down there? It's nothing, John. Some of the Morgan Stanley foreign debt guys are, uh, they're trash-talking.