Stephen Colbert
speaker
1,477 appearances
50 recordings
16 series
first heard Feb 2024
last heard 4 Sep
Stephen Colbert’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
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recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 31 in all, peaking in May 2026 with 18.
Appearances
Austria was the first country that Hitler took over when he was expanding. And it was very similar to Germany, the way Canada is similar to the US. And they just kind of absorbed it. And that was the beginning of Hitler's expansion.
I'm not saying at all that Trump is Hitler. He's not. But if Trump is 10% as bad as Hitler, that's bad enough.
The differences are subtle, but really significant. Like when I go get pizza, they ask me, you know, what kind of sauce I want on the pizza, if I want like sweet and sour sauce or Chipotle sauce.
They give it to you and they say, what kind of sauce do you want on it? And I said, what do you mean? I'm from New York, we don't do that.
Can anyone here tell me, what would happen to the illegal alien from El Salvador if he came back from the United States? Does anyone here know? Does anyone want to guess? Any of you. He could be with his family. What? Any of you know the answer to the question? Legally, what would happen if he came back here? Does any of you know? Any of you? Do you really believe the Supreme Court?
I'm talking now. Do you really believe the Supreme Court doesn't think he should be retired? Why was it you now? You're done.
Stephen, happy St. Patrick's Day to you, boy. Sure and begora, my friend. How are you, John? Wow. I didn't even know that was in there.
Thank you very much.
Absolutely. Yes. Yes. Yes. Now, they hurl frogs and locusts at you while you're... Exactly.
That was the original. That was the original.
The man barked out one appalling claim after another. But don't you worry. the Democrats came ready to fight back with their little paddles, okay? That is how you save democracy, by quietly dissenting or bidding on an antique tea set. It was hard to tell what was going on. I'm just kidding. That was very cool, Democrats. In fact, I made my own sign.
Proud Boys USA is here. What's up? What is up? Proud of your boy. Proud Boys.
Well, last night in Los Angeles, Academy voters finally answered one of Hollywood's age-old questions.
The answer? Sort of. The action-adventure epic Gladiator took home Best Picture honors at the 73rd Annual Academy Awards. But keep in mind, the direction, screenplay, score, editing, cinematography, set direction, and supporting actor apparently could have been better.
The evening saw no clear winner, as the major awards were split between a handful of films, primarily Traffic, Gladiator, the Chinese language martial arts epic Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, and to a much, much, much lesser extent, Space Cowboys. Gladiator's Russell Crowe walked away with Best Actor honors, and he had a few people to thank.
He also thanked the riverboat captain, who apparently just dropped him off. As for Best Actress, it came as little surprise that Julia Roberts took home the trophy for her work in Erin Brockovich. You know, interesting side note, the producers imposed a 45-second speech limit, but Ms. Roberts took five minutes. She used it well.
My name starts with R. There's four minutes and 40 more seconds of that. Bon appetit. In keeping with The Daily Show's ongoing commitment to the disabled, we'd like to present a translation of Robert's speech for the hearing impaired.
I learned that from Children of a Lesser God. Like any respectable news organization, we pour unlimited resources into our Oscar coverage. So we're going to take you out live to Los Angeles where chief entertainment correspondent Nancy Walls is still at the shrine standing by on the red carpet. So, Nancy, a big night last night. You had the best seat in the house, I imagine.
Thank you, Nancy, that sounds great. This year's show had a decidedly international flavor, with Ang Lee's Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon taking home a cluster of awards. It's safe to say that the Oscar stage has never before seen such a multicultural parade of influences and a wonderful assortment of strange new tongues.
Dylan's satellite performance live from Australia came on the heels of performances by other international superstars, most notably Icelandic pop goddess Björk Gudmundsdottir, acclaimed cellist Yo-Yo Ma, and Philadelphia 76er center Dikembe Mutombo. He wasn't actually there. I just like saying his name.
Showing 1381–1400 of 1,477 · page 70 of 74
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