Stephen Colbert
speaker
1,477 appearances
50 recordings
16 series
first heard Feb 2024
last heard 4 Sep
Stephen Colbert’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.
Trend
recordings per month · last 12 monthsRecordings per month over the last 12 months — 31 in all, peaking in May 2026 with 18.
Appearances
It's a case that figures to settle once and for all the legality of medical marijuana and thereby affect the lives of no fewer than .0001% of American marijuana smokers.
The federal government maintains, however, that marijuana, or as it's known on the street, funny pot cigarettes, is illegal, period, and has severely criticized prescribing the drug to those freewheeling, long-haired, hippie AIDS and cancer patients just trying to score a free high off Uncle Sam. Those people are sick. Seriously, they're sick and they need help.
Robert McGinnis of the Family Research Council has come out strongly against medical marijuana.
Robert McGinnis. Speaking out strongly and poorly against miracle marijuana. Medical marijuana. Which is a miracle. Now, the upcoming Supreme Court debate could even be a hotter button issue than Americans not sleeping enough. That's why it's the subject of tonight's Even Steven. You just made me vomit in my own mouth.
The medical marijuana initiatives in California and New Mexico were approved by the voters solely to help seriously ill patients for whom marijuana offers the only relief from pain. Who could deny an 80-year-old woman a moment of respite from her tortured existence? But I suppose there are a few sick individuals out there who get off on other people suffering, Steven.
This marijuana is medicine, Steven. I'm pro-people, not pro-pot. Oh, come on, Steve.
Steven, just because I support medical marijuana, it's ludicrous to imply that I'm a dope fiend. That's like saying because I support the repeal of the marriage tax penalty that I'm into wife swapping.
Fine. Let's. What you're suggesting about my access to sweet Malaysian skunkweed is just as ridiculous as if I said, hey, Stephen Colbert, why don't you and your wife come over some night this week and we can exchange partners?
You're not listening, Steven. You're in a fantasy world where I smoke pot and could get my hands on some very kind bud. But we would be wife swapping this Friday. Have I made myself clear?
And I'm Steve Carell, and this has been Even Stephen.
Well, John, the WWF IPO is creating quite a buzz. Investors are looking for product branding and long-term growth.
Steven, wait, I... Steven, what? Is everything okay down there? It's nothing, John. Some of the Morgan Stanley foreign debt guys are, uh, they're trash-talking.
Well, there's a sense of increased optimism, but that could be attributed to the Fed's restraint on interest rates. Stephen, I don't mean to interrupt. Who was that? Oh, he goes by the name of the underwriter. You don't want a piece of that, John.
What are you going to do when John McCain and all his McCainiacs run wild on you?
Stewart, hey, Stewart, look, I've heard every single thing that you've been saying about me. I hope, my friend, that you are prepared for a world of hurt.
Mm-hm. How did you interrupt my moment of zen? How? Oh, please, please, Stuart. You know me better than that. I can do anything I want. I am all-powerful. Settle down, Obi-Wan. You're not all-powerful.
Is he... Real, real tough talk, Stuart. Why don't you shut your mouth and bring it, pal, huh?
Well, you know what? It's funny you would mention that because I actually came here to give you an invitation. Really? Yes. How about you show up this Monday night on Monday Night Raw at Newark at the Prudential Center. You got the guts, Stewart.
The night that Trump was elected in 2016, I started looking into becoming a Canadian citizen and I moved here in 2020 full time. I gave up my apartment in Brooklyn, moved to Toronto.
And it's bullshit. You actually did it. So I wrote, I actually did it, becoming Canadian because of Trump. Is that the book where you admit that you killed OJ's wife? No, it's not the, no. It's not? I didn't.
Showing 1361–1380 of 1,477 · page 69 of 74
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