Susan Stiffelman

speaker

353 appearances 1 recordings 1 series first heard Oct 2019 last heard Oct 2019

Susan Stiffelman’s voice in public audio — every appearance, attributed to the second.

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Full-Tilt Parenting: Strategies, Insights, and Connection for Parents Raising Neurodivergent Children · TPP 180: Susan Stiffelman on Parenting Without Power Struggles · 20 Oct 2019 podcast

We're not saying I don't think you're you're able to live through this.

And and that's a very important message to sort of the meta communication is

This is this really stinks and I I'm here with you and we can be mad about it and cry about it and pound our fists about it.

And I have every faith in your ability to get through it.

Yes, yes, because we get ramped up very quickly.

And again, you know, I've done a lot of work with Byron Katie.

I love the work dot com, which is her website, and I love the resources she's made available for looking at what story we're telling, what belief we're creating around something that's going on.

And I've used this so much with with parenting because we can slow down more easily.

When we question the meaning that we're making of something our child is saying or doing and

So it's a quick way to kind of s take a couple of steps back and say, What what am I believing about this?

Now, if I'm believing that my daughter is gonna hate me if I don't let her see this movie

Then the little lawyers in my head will look for evidence of that and I'll get more and more agitated and I'll go faster and faster to convince her

not to see me that way as the enemy.

Whereas if I tell the story, I am sort of the the garbage can here, I am the receptacle for difficult feelings that are getting stirred up in her.

It's not personal.

I'm actually the best person for her to work through some of these feelings with.

Then it's much more easy to slow down.

Exactly.

That you're a little bit more prepared.

And that's why looking at the question, why does this behavior make sense can quickly help us depersonalize it?

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